Narcissists cry for self-serving reasons, often to manipulate, gain sympathy, avoid accountability, or because their fragile ego is wounded by perceived failure, criticism, or not getting their way, rather than from genuine empathy or remorse for others. Their tears are typically about feeling wronged, preserving their image, getting attention, or expressing personal distress (pain, frustration, loss) that threatens their sense of superiority.
Narcissists tend to cry “crocodile tears” to garner sympathy or as a form of manipulation. For example, a person with NPD may cry to convince someone to stay in a toxic relationship with them.
The number one trait of a narcissist is often considered a grandiose sense of self-importance (grandiosity) combined with a profound lack of empathy, where they see others as tools for their own gain and have an inflated, often unrealistic, view of their own superiority, needing constant admiration without acknowledging others' feelings or needs, as highlighted by HelpGuide.org and The Hart Centre. This core creates other behaviors like entitlement, manipulation, and arrogance, making them believe they deserve special treatment.
Narcissists can cry, but the reasons behind their tears may surprise you. While these people do experience emotions, those feelings often revolve around their own needs rather than empathy or remorse for others.
A narcissist might become angry when they see you cry depending on the circumstances. It may arouse an overwhelming feeling of shame or losing control over the other person and their own emotions. So to regain control and suppress shame, they might react with aggression.
As a Harvard-trained psychologist, I've found that there are seven phrases you'll hear from highly narcissistic people:
These six common symptoms of narcissism can help you identify a narcissist:
Narcissistic traits often peak in late adolescence and early adulthood (around ages 14-23), particularly with grandiosity and entitlement, as individuals seek identity and status, but then tend to decline as people mature and face life's realities, though some individuals with NPD may see intensification in these years before a potential mellowing in middle age.
Although narcissists act superior to others and posture as beyond reproach, underneath their grandiose exteriors lurk their deepest fears: That they are flawed, illegitimate, and ordinary.
By understanding narcissistic behavior patterns, setting clear boundaries, practicing emotional detachment, and prioritizing self-care, we can protect our mental health and maintain healthier relationships. Remember that you deserve to have healthy relationships free from manipulation and abuse.
Five key signs of a narcissist include a grandiose sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, a strong sense of entitlement, lack of empathy for others' feelings, and a tendency to exploit or manipulate people for personal gain, all stemming from a fragile ego and deep insecurity. They often boast, feel unique, get easily slighted by criticism, and disregard others' needs.
Based on some overlapping symptoms, borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are two mental health disorders that are often mistaken for one another.
Malignant narcissism is considered by many to be the most severe type. 2 That's why it helps to recognize when you have someone with this condition in your life and what to expect from interactions with them. This knowledge can also provide insight into how to deal with them in the healthiest way possible.
Criticism and insults. The narcissistic partner may often belittle and criticize the victim, attacking their self-esteem, which can sometimes contribute to developing an anxious attachment style or exacerbate existing insecurities. They might say things like, “You're worthless,” or “No one else would ever want you.”
Dealing with a person with narcissism can be difficult because they often don't want to see you happy. It can lead to arguments, aggressive outbursts, and shaming. The person might also play the victim and try to convince you that you were wrong.
Stick to facts and specific instances of behavior rather than general accusations, which can be more easily denied or twisted. Assertiveness: Clearly state your needs and boundaries without apology. Assertiveness here means being firm in your stance while remaining calm and respectful.
The "3 E's of Narcissism" refer to three core traits often seen in individuals with narcissistic tendencies: Empathy impairment, a profound lack of understanding or sharing of others' feelings; Entitlement, a belief they deserve special treatment and admiration; and Exploitation, using others for personal gain without guilt. These characteristics highlight how narcissists often struggle to connect emotionally, feel superior, and manipulate people to meet their own needs.
Never say to them, they can never change
A narcissistic person is inherently oppositional. They will fight back on anything we ask them to do, just to hold their ground and exercise their freedom. If we tell them to do something, they commit to not doing it.
Ultimately, a healthy relationship with a narcissist is dependent on the non-narcissistic partner having good self-esteem, solid boundaries, a support network, and a reason to stay.
6 Signs You Were Raised by a Narcissist
Narcissism is often linked to hypersensitivity and emotional instability, and these traits can become more pronounced with age, especially when loneliness or health issues arise. An older adult who thrived on social validation might become irritable or prone to angry outbursts when they feel overlooked.
What are the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder?
When you stop giving a narcissist attention, they feel a profound sense of loss, as their self-esteem relies on external validation, leading them to escalate tactics like manipulation, charm, guilt-tripping, and smear campaigns to regain control, but with consistent boundaries, they may eventually lose interest and move on, though the initial withdrawal often involves intense attempts to re-engage you.
When confronting a narcissist, it's important to remain assertive and confident, so they can't manipulate or gaslight you. Getting things in writing, keeping your responses brief, and stating your boundaries can be effective in disarming a narcissist.