Many cheaters try to blame their partners. For instance, they might say something like, “Well, if you weren't so distant all the time, I wouldn't have done it.” Or, “I only did it because our sex life has been so dull lately.” They might also try to blame the person they had an affair with.
Cheaters often react to an accusation of cheating with denial, showing no guilt signs. This can be a simple 'no' or more of a statement of unwillingness to accept the accusation. Whatever the form, denial is likely to be one of the first responses to allegations of cheating.
Innocent people can react to false accusations of cheating can in a variety of ways. Common reactions include surprise and disbelief, denial of the accusation, anger and frustration, a desire to prove their innocence, and a willingness to cooperate with any efforts to investigate the situation.
When a narcissist is caught cheating and lying, they often make up a heap of more lies to convince you that they've been nothing but faithful. Even if you have evidence of cheating, they're likely to deny everything and even project their infidelity onto you.
Many people who cheat on their partners use secret messaging apps, like Signal, which allow them to chat with others discreetly. Depending on the cheating your partner is engaging in, whether sexual, emotional, or otherwise, there are different apps they might use to cheat or hide their behavior.
Secret messages and online documents
The most dangerous habit for cheaters is to send photos and videos. These media may spice things up, but they are vivid evidence of an affair. Such materials can be used as evidence in divorce proceedings – especially if a betrayed husband or wife can save or download copies.
You've heard the phrase "it's not you, it's me?" Cheaters tend to take stock in the reverse. "Cheaters often say things such as: 'My partner doesn't like to do what I like to do in bed. ' Or, 'Our relationship is un-fulfilling sexually and emotionally, so I have to get it elsewhere,'" Wish said.
An inability to bear the truth
Attorney Rebecca Zung writes about what happens when you catch a narcissist in a lie. They will either deny, deflect, devalue, and/or dismiss you.
Certain personality factors often coincide with serial cheating, such as narcissism, sociopathy, and problems with impulse control. These variables tend to be fixed and pervasive across the lifespan. That means they don't usually just show up in relationships.
It's a subconscious defense mechanism. The guilt OR discomfort of knowing they wronged you….. they don't like it…. They want you to stop. Selfish cheaters cannot stand to admit they're wrong.
He won't want to bring it up or talk about whatever he did because he hopes you will forget about it. On the other hand, if he's done something bad and now he feels uncomfortable being around you because of all that guilt, he may lash out in other ways. He may be ruder, he may pick more fights, etc.
Some people want to make things right again and confess so their partner will forgive them, but others try to forget it ever happened in hopes their partner will never discover the truth. This is an excuse to avoid the bitter reality of what might happen after confessing. Guilt doesn't disappear after coming clean.
Infidelity isn't limited to texting. Cheaters will often use laptops and tablets, and even hidden apps, to communicate with a paramour.
When you've tried everything you can do to ask for forgiveness, look straight into your ex's eyes and tell them that you're sorry. Remind them of all the beautiful moments you spent together as a couple. Give them the confidence that you'll never cheat again.
They Have Grandiose Fantasies
On the outside, a person with covert narcissism will seem quiet, meek, and self-critical. However, on the inside, they feel an intense sense of specialness. Despite their jealousy, envy, and apparent shyness, covert narcissists will believe they are better than everyone else.
The narcissist texting style is such that it's all about them. In this case, examples of narcissist text messages could be “call me now,” “I'm amazing because I bought the groceries,” and “why aren't you calling me – did I do something wrong?
Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous. And not just about anyone potentially interested in you romantically, but anyone or anything that can take the focus off of them.
A narcissistic liar is a person who lies to get what they want. They are often charming and persuasive. But their primary goal is always self-promotion. They want to present themselves in a certain light and believe they can get away with it.
Strong partners
Most cheaters are afraid of being alone. Contradictory by nature, a cheating mate is actually terrified of his or her partner leaving. A strong spouse who is willing to walk away and have a life outside of the relationship is a scary scenario for an adulterer.
Unfortunately, that's still a bad sign, because this kind of jealousy and insecurity is common in people who cheat. In interviews, some people reported cheating on their partners as revenge, because they believed their partners had cheated first.
Cheaters, especially chronic cheaters, struggle to control their impulses. While we all make mistakes and sometimes hurt those we love, cheaters know their actions will cause pain but do it anyway. This behavior is associated with an inability to resist the urge to do something, even though you know it's wrong.