Neglect or abuse—physical, sexual or emotional; and/or. Loss of parent or primary caregiver, whether through addiction, incarceration, abandonment or death.
Social anxiety causes isolation
Suffering through abuse or neglect crushes a child's confidence. Combined with the poor sense of self, that low confidence makes social interactions fraught with difficulty. We anticipate rejection because we received so much of it.
Children who are neglected or withdrawn also report feelings of loneliness, although to a lesser extent than do aggressive-rejected children. Because these children often lack social skills, they have difficulty interacting with their peers.
One of the most notable symptoms for a majority of those affected by PTSD is self-isolation.
What causes loneliness? There is not one single cause of loneliness. Loneliness can often be a result of life changes or circumstances that include living alone, changing your living arrangements, having financial problems, or death of a loved one.
In 1962, Richard Yates wrote a book entitled “Eleven Kinds of Loneliness”. But it was fiction. More recently, Sarah Biddlecombe, an award-winning journalist at 'Stylist', explained that there are four distinct types of loneliness identified by psychologists: emotional, social, situational, and chronic.
The core of loneliness: lack of pleasurable engagement--more so than painful disconnection--predicts social impairment, depression onset, and recovery from depressive disorders among adolescents.
While our preferences are our own and may not be problematic, spending too much time alone can become an issue. If you find yourself spending more and more time alone because you believe others don't understand you or that you will struggle to connect, you may be experiencing one of the more subtle symptoms of trauma.
The trauma inflicted in childhood changes the way a person connects with others. It can introduce a sense of shame or lack of self-worth, which can cause you to form relationships in unhealthy ways. For some people, this might take the form of making unhealthy attachments with unsuitable people.
Associations were found between specific types of trauma and loneliness. Lifetime and childhood physical abuse, as well as emotional abuse/neglect, were associated with loneliness in adulthood.
Signs of Loneliness
Younger children may: Create imaginary friends to make up for lack of real friends. Seem clingy or start asking you to play with them more than usual. Seek your attention by misbehaving, acting silly, or interrupting you when they know they shouldn't.
Examples of emotional neglect may include: lack of emotional support during difficult times or illness. withholding or not showing affection, even when requested. exposure to domestic violence and other types of abuse.
PTSD of abandonment stems from losses and disconnections in early childhood, such as: A parent who is emotionally unavailable. Childhood neglect due to substance abuse, such as alcoholism or drug abuse. Mental illness, such as depression, in a parent or caregiver.
There is considerable evidence that prolonged loneliness during childhood has lasting effects, with some children becoming depressed in their adolescence, and some having ongoing difficulties into adulthood.
Children who have experienced complex trauma often have difficulty identifying, expressing, and managing emotions, and may have limited language for feeling states. They often internalize and/or externalize stress reactions and as a result may experience significant depression, anxiety, or anger.
Childhood trauma can manifest itself in different ways as an adult, including mental health challenges like depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
Without treatment, repeated childhood exposure to traumatic events can affect the brain and nervous system and increase health-risk behaviors (e.g., smoking, eating disorders, substance use, and high-risk activities).
Enter traumatic aloneness. In childhood trauma, our fight flight responses are futile; we can't run we won't survive, we can't fight we're too little. We are completely alone in our trauma, both when it is happening and when it isn't.
It may cause someone to find the need to be on their own, in a place where they are in peace and quiet, or in an environment with noise that the person can control. Yes, emotional trauma can cause a person to become a lot more introverted.
Chronic loneliness occurs when feelings of loneliness and uncomfortable social isolation go on for a long period of time. It's characterized by constant and unrelenting feelings of being alone, separated or divided from others, and an inability to connect on a deeper level.
A recent study by Hayes et al. concluded that emotion regulation and social identity uniquely contribute to loneliness.
Studies show than prolonged loneliness breeds low self-esteem, introversion, pessimism, disagreeableness, anger, shyness, anxiety, lessened social skills, and neuroticism.
When someone feels lonely they are more likely to try to distract themselves with the other things in their lives. So if your colleague is always talking about their stamp collection, or always flying away on exotic solo city breaks rather than spending weekends at home, they might be feeling alone.