Past trauma Trauma experienced during childhood that was never addressed and resolved may lead to relationship challenges, including commitment phobia. Negative experiences in the past with infidelity or abuse can also lead to a loss of trust overall and fear of commitment.
“Commitment issues are caused by fear. Fear of being suffocated, fear of being hurt, fear of settling for the wrong person, fear of missing out, etc. It can also be a result of a trauma from a bad relationship or coming from a family with unhealthy boundaries.
Gamophobia — a fear of commitment or fear of marriage — can keep you from enjoying meaningful relationships. A painful breakup, divorce or abandonment during childhood or adulthood may make you afraid to commit to someone you love. Psychotherapy (talk therapy) can help you overcome this commitment phobia.
Childhood trauma-related mental health conditions, such as depression or anxiety, can take a toll on your relationships as an adult. Left untreated, these conditions make it impossible for your relationship to grow.
One common reason why people struggle with commitment is due to trauma and PTSD. People who have had negative relationships or abusive relationships in the past may be less willing to commit to a long-term relationship in the future.
If a person has a fear of commitment or is commitment-phobic, they will create a distance in the relationship, and you will feel this. On the other end, your partner is overly needy and makes you feel suffocated. They want to spend all of their time with you. And honestly, it's just too much and very unhealthy.
Get yourself to a place where you can agree to be exclusive in a relationship and put solid effort into practicing your commitment skills. Focus on discussing life goals with your partner and try to reveal your inner self to them. This will give you the opportunity to experience trust, closeness, and intimacy.
Adults with unresolved childhood trauma are more prone to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), suicide and self-harm.
Signs of Unresolved Childhood Trauma in Adults
Stress, anxiety, mood, or personality disorders. Behavioral issues or emotional immaturity. Inability to deal with confrontation or conflict.
The symptoms of PTSD can cause problems with trust, closeness, communication, and problem solving. These problems may affect the way the survivor acts with others. In turn, the way a loved one responds to him or her affects the trauma survivor. A circular pattern can develop that may sometimes harm relationships.
A lack of commitment ultimately leads to a decline in performance among team members. When a team has a high level of trust and engages in healthy conflict, they will commit to team goals and objectives.
A study of the romantic history of 58 adults aged 22-28 found that those who avoid committed romantic relationships are likely a product of unresponsive or over-intrusive parenting, says a psychologist. Afraid to commit to a relationship?
A lot of people end up pulling away from relationships because they're afraid of letting themselves be loved. Other variations of this dynamic include being afraid of being vulnerable and being afraid that you're not “worthy” of love. For as badly as most of us crave love, it's also terrifying to receive it.
A study of young adults found that childhood trauma was significantly correlated with elevated psychological distress, increased sleep disturbances, reduced emotional well-being, and lower perceived social support.
Symptoms of Unresolved Trauma
Lack of trust and difficulty opening up to other people6. Dissociation and a persistent feeling of numbness7. Control issues, to overcompensate for feeling helpless during the traumatic incident8. Low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness9.
Common examples of childhood adversity include child abuse and neglect, domestic violence, bullying, serious accidents or injuries, discrimination, extreme poverty, and community violence.
“Five are personal — physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, physical neglect, and emotional neglect,” according to ACESTooHigh News.
In univariate analyses, all 5 forms of childhood trauma in this study (ie, witnessing violence, physical neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse) demonstrated statistically significant relationships with the number of different aggressive behaviors reported in adulthood.
Seeking Treatment for Commitment Issues
Professional treatment for commitment issues comes in many forms, but with an experienced therapist and a sound treatment plan, commitment issues can be improved to completely resolved quickly.
People with commitment phobia often give themselves away subconsciously. They overuse some words and are reluctant to say others. People with commitment phobia often hesitate to use the word “love” or to define relationships through such terms as boyfriend or girlfriend.