Why we feel instant attraction to some people, and not others, is affected by lots of different things: mood, hormones and neurotransmitters, how alike we are, the shortage of other partners available, looks, physical excitement, and the proximity of geographical closeness.
Scientists studying human chemistry believe chemical bonds related to neurotransmitters in the brain may trigger an attraction with someone so intensely that it causes a tingle down your spine.
There are factors that lead to interpersonal attraction. Studies suggest that all factors involve social reinforcement. The most frequently studied include physical attractiveness, propinquity (frequency of interaction), familiarity, similarity, complementarity, reciprocal liking, and reinforcement.
It can come in the form of a physical, emotional, or even intellectual bond. Scientists believe that chemistry is a result of the chemicals in your brain determining compatibility." Most of us have felt it, but usually we aren't aware of where this insane feeling is coming from.
Well, it turns out that the rules of attraction aren't that straightforward. According to professor Claire Hart, who teaches a module on the psychology of attraction at University of Southampton, there are five main determinants of attraction: physical attractiveness, proximity, similarity, reciprocity and familiarity.
You Can Feel It
This one is probably a no-brainer; when someone is attracted to you, they want to touch you. Touch releases the bonding hormone oxytocin. So, it is an instinctive way of trying to strengthen your connection. However, not all touches mean the same thing.
Chemistry can be defined as a strong attraction between two people whose minds meet or who have been drawn to each other because of intimacy they experience that goes beyond basic physical attraction or infatuation.
This feeling is what we usually call chemistry between people, or "the spark"—a twinkle in the eye, a skipped heartbeat, or flushed cheeks that indicate two people are truly connecting.
An immediate spark can actually mean very little in the grand scheme of a relationship. In fact, sometimes a spark right off the bat can actually be "dangerous" or even a red flag, according to Hinge's Director of Relationship Science, Logan Ury, author of How to Not Die Alone.
Good looks, ambition, and a good sense of humor are common qualities that people seek out. But there are other factors you're likely unaware of that play an important part in who you're attracted to. Past experiences, proximity, and biology all have a role in determining who catches our attention and who doesn't.
Their heart will beat rapidly from being around you. Other signs include unexplained laughter, sweaty palms and fidgeting. People like to be in control of their emotions. If they have trouble doing that around you, it's most likely because you make them nervous and excited.
Signs of intense chemistry with someone like physical attraction, eye contact, and body language are some of the more apparent indicators, but shared interests, emotional connection, and even nervousness can also suggest strong chemistry.
There is that special spark, that special something, that people feel when there is chemistry, and it happens on both sides. There are times when people sometimes build chemistry or develop chemistry over time as they get to know each other.
Notice if you both seem giddy around each other.
You might not even have to be around each other: just the thought of him makes you smile! Having fun and feeling good around each other is a definite sign of chemistry.
Strong chemistry between a man and woman is a feeling of intense attraction felt by both the man and woman. In many cases, these feelings are accompanied by the desire to be intimate with themselves, spend more time together, and even commit to something bigger (sometimes).
The short answer
It happens sometimes that people feel the same connection you do, but it's not guaranteed. Chances are, while you're hitting it off with someone, they are having a great time, as well, but that's not always the case.
When it comes to an unspoken connection, the chemistry is often palpable. Mutual attraction is a lot like gravity—the two of you may feel drawn to one another in ways that feel mysterious, or even confusing.
By learning to recognize some verbal attraction cues like compliments, praise, teasing, banter, and active listening, individuals can become more aware of when someone might be attracted to them. Additionally, nonverbal cues like eye contact, touch, and body language can offer more insight into potential attraction.
Over time, the head-over-heels chemistry felt during the limerence phase may fade, but in a strong relationship, chemistry remains over time. It may not appear as intense as during the honeymoon phase, but it is possible for relationship chemistry to last for a lifetime.
When you have an instant connection with someone, it's as if you've known each other for years, despite just meeting for the first time. There's a sense of familiarity and understanding that can't be faked. You feel like you've found a long-lost friend or a piece of your puzzle that's been missing.
You Feel Like There Are Magnets Pulling You Together
Cellular attraction basically means that your cells are being attracted to theirs. This attraction makes you want to be physically closer to them. Cellular attraction also explains the strange feeling of being drawn to those you are sexually attracted to.
The feeling of being attracted to someone involves your physical senses, your hormones, your nerves, and even your immune system. It can be sparked by a wide variety of cues, from the shape of another person's face to the particular way they smell.
High levels of dopamine and a related hormone, norepinephrine, are released during attraction. These chemicals make us giddy, energetic, and euphoric, even leading to decreased appetite and insomnia – which means you actually can be so “in love” that you can't eat and can't sleep.