Causes of Emotional Abuse Abusive parents suffered from parental abuse in their own childhood. Affective disorders, depression, etc. Substance abuse such as alcohol and drug use.
There are many potential reasons why a parent might resort to emotional abuse, including if they're dealing with mental health conditions, substance use problems, or they're not emotionally ready to be a parent.
The feeling of being powerful and in control gives some abusers immense pleasure. Abusers may also derive pleasure from seeing you suffer. Narcissists, psychopaths, and sadists may be drawn to emotional abuse because of the pleasure they take in having power over others or seeing them suffer (Brogaard, 2020).
Personal Attacks Common examples include criticizing, name calling, mocking responses, defaming character, berating feelings, and judging opinions. No Apology – Parents refuse to take responsibility, become hostile, invalidate or dismiss feelings of the child, lie, and conveniently forget promises or commitments.
PTSD symptoms displayed by abused children and young people include learning difficulties, poor behaviour at school, depression and anxiety, aggression, risk-taking and criminal behaviours, emotional numbness, and a range of physical issues including poor sleep and headaches.
Some of the common signs of a toxic parent or parents include: Highly negatively reactive. Toxic parents are emotionally out of control. They tend to dramatize even minor issues and see any possible slight as a reason to become hostile, angry, verbally abusive, or destructive.
“However, it's totally healthy and appropriate for individuals to set boundaries with family members.” Sometimes, limiting or eliminating contact with a parent is much less damaging than having them in your life.
Very simply, toxic behaviour arises out of a lack of control while abusive behaviour is all about one person taking control of the other. Here are some differences to consider: Toxic relationships: One or both people engage in reactive behaviour that is out of proportion to the event that is happening.
Examples include intimidation, coercion, ridiculing, harassment, treating an adult like a child, isolating an adult from family, friends, or regular activity, use of silence to control behavior, and yelling or swearing which results in mental distress. Signs of emotional abuse.
The 5 cycles of emotional abuse, as listed in Sarakay Smullens' “Five Cycles of Emotional Abuse: Codification and Treatment of an Invisible Malignancy” are enmeshment, extreme overprotection and overindulgence, complete neglect, rage, and rejection/abandonment.
Long-term emotional abuse can also result in several health problems, including depression, anxiety, substance abuse, chronic pain, and more.
Teicher said some of the most abusive statements are "telling them you wish they were never born or that [your] life would have been so much better if they were never born. Or saying, 'You're never going to be as good as your brother or your cousin. '" Or, "you'll turn out just like your deadbeat dad."
Emotional abuse can lead to C-PTSD, a type of PTSD that involves ongoing trauma. C-PTSD shows many of the same symptoms as PTSD, although its symptoms and causes can differ. Treatment should be tailored to the situation to address the ongoing trauma the person experienced from emotional abuse.
Exposure to child physical abuse and parents' domestic violence can subject youth to pervasive traumatic stress and lead to Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Constant criticism or blaming can be a form of emotional abuse, according to licensed marriage and family therapist Annette Nuñez, Ph. D., LMFT. As Nuñez previously explained to mbg, having a parent who's always criticizing or blaming you, and never taking accountability for themselves, is emotionally abusive.
Authoritarian Parenting Approach
Mental issues are prominent. Authoritarian parents can skew into abuse through emotional and psychological damage to kids in the household.
Further research shows that when taking issues of severity into consideration, fathers or father surrogates are responsible for more severe physical abuse and fatalities than female perpetrators (US Department of Health and Human Services [US DHHS], 2005).
The most common toxic behavior of parents is to criticize their child, express self-wishes, complain about the difficulties of raising a child, make unhealthy comparisons, and make hurtful statements1.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
Stick to your boundaries
Telling them that you experienced trauma as a child doesn't mean you have to share every detail of that experience. If your parents ask you questions you're uncomfortable answering, it's okay to say that some aspects of this topic are off-limits.
There are different types of parents and parenting styles, and most want the best for their kids. But some go over the boundaries and become toxic parents. Worse, they don't even know they're being toxic, maybe because their parents brought them up the same way.
Growing up with toxic parents can affect your physical and mental health, putting you at risk for substance use, low self-esteem, and relationship difficulties. Setting healthy boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and getting support from family, friends, or a therapist are ways to cope with a toxic childhood.