If you don't set healthy boundaries, you are likely to constantly be at the mercy of others. You allow others to tell you how to think, act, and feel. It also means you tend to spend your time and energy doing what others want you to do, over what you deep down want to do.
Here are some examples of what unhealthy boundaries may look like: Disrespecting the values, beliefs, and opinions of others when you do not agree with them. Not saying “no” or not accepting when others say “no.” Feeling like you are responsible for other people's feelings and/or happiness.
Individuals who lack appropriate boundaries often struggle with telling others how they feel (for fear of rejection or ridicule), struggle with feeling burdened by how others perceive them (due to a desire to people-please), strive to make everyone happy with their performance (at work, in school, at home, etc.), and ...
Rivers, mountain ranges, oceans, and deserts can all serve as physical boundaries.
Healthy emotional boundaries come from believing that you are OK just the way you are. Commit to letting go of fixing others, taking responsibility for the outcomes of others choices, saving or rescuing others, needing to be needed, changing yourself to be liked, or depending on others approval.
These boundaries typically fall into a few specific categories: emotional (protecting our own emotional well-being) physical (protecting our physical space) sexual (protecting our needs and safety sexually)
You may have poor boundaries if you often: Say yes out of a desire to please, even when you'd prefer to say no. Feel guilty when you set aside time for self-care. Fail to speak up for yourself when people treat you badly or make you uncomfortable.
A strong and healthy relationship is built on the three C's: Communication, Compromise and Commitment.
Setting healthy boundaries involves respecting other people's opinions, ideas, and personal space, being able to say no and accept being told no, and being able to communicate your needs and wants effectively. Being kind and compassionate to yourself is an important part of setting healthy boundaries.
A few examples of a person exhibiting healthy boundaries include: Being able to say, "no," and accept when someone else says, "no" Being able to clearly communicate both wants and needs. Honoring and respecting their own needs and the needs of others.
Physical boundaries include your needs for personal space, your comfort with touch, and your physical needs like needing to rest, eat food, and drink water. It is OK to let people know that you don't want to be touched or that you need more space. It is also OK to say that you are hungry or that you need to rest.
Mental boundaries refer to your personal thought process. Always seeing eye-to-eye with another person is not possible. Everyone has different experiences, but you have the right to your own thoughts, values, beliefs and opinions. It is important to give and receive respect when it comes to mental boundaries.
Human-made boundaries are lines drawn by governments. They divide up countries, states, counties, and cities. Most of the time you cannot see them. They are imaginary lines drawn on a map.
Examples of man-made boundaries include farming-vegetation boundaries, urban and rural boundaries and land use boundaries. Humans have dramatically changed the vegetation type is certain areas. Some of this is due to agriculture, farming and ranching.
The most common example of a natural boundary is the bank of a river bed.
People lack boundaries because they have a high level of neediness (or in psych terms, codependence). People who are needy or codependent have a desperate need for love and affection from others. To receive this love and affection, they sacrifice their identity and remove their boundaries.
When you establish a new boundary with someone else, the most common form of resistance one gets is anger. People who get angry at others for setting boundaries have a character problem. Self-centered, they think the world exists for them and their comfort. They see others as extensions of themselves.
Narcissistic people view themselves as uniquely gifted and therefore feel entitled to take advantage of other people. They do not possess healthy boundaries, nor do they like it when others set limits against their intrusions.