Practice mindfulness of your emotions. Notice the emotion you are having and let yourself experience it as a wave without trying to block it, suppress it, or hold onto it. Try to accept the emotion for what it is. Try to stay in the moment so you do not carry the past emotions along with it.
People with BPD can benefit by being physically active, practicing self-care, keeping busy, and taking breaks. Dialectical behavioral therapy and group/individual therapy can help someone deal with BPD. Grounding exercises and having an emergency safety plan are recommendations to overcome BPD.
So, what exactly does the BPD break up cycle look like? It can look like fear of abandonment, distrust of a partner, cheating, lack of communication and self-blame. It can look like idolizing a partner, confusing strong emotions for passion, anxiety and overreacting to interactions perceived as negative.
The 3 C's are: I didn't cause it. I can't cure it. I can't control it.
Another hallmark of borderline personality disorder is having a favorite person—usually a family member, romantic partner, or someone in a supportive role, such as a teacher or coach. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation.
No contact is often perceived as abandonment. A person with BPD will likely feel hurt, betrayed, angry, sad, depressed…you name it. Look no further than the very first symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder according to the DSM: Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
BPD splitting destroys relationships because the behaviour can be impulsive or reckless in order to alleviate the pain, often hurting loved ones in the process. It can feel like everyone abandons or hurts them, often causing them to look for evidence, and creating problems from nothing.
To punish themselves: Sometimes people with BPD appear to harm themselves out of a profound feeling or belief that they deserve punishment and abuse. Sometimes this belief appears to be related to the fact that they were abused as children and believed they deserved the abuse.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
Consider cutting out all processed food and sugar for a few weeks and observe your energy level and your emotions. Avoid misusing alcohol or caffeine, as these also can intensify mood instability. BPD sometimes includes symptoms of self-harm or substance abuse.
People with BPD have an intense fear of abandonment and have trouble regulating their emotions, especially anger. They also tend to show impulsive and dangerous behaviors, such as reckless driving and threatening self-harm. All of these behaviors make it difficult for them to maintain relationships.
People with BPD have high levels of distress and anger. They can easily take offence at things other people do or say. People with BPD might struggle with painful thoughts and beliefs about themselves and other people. This can cause distress in their work life, family life and social life.
The Victim
Someone with BPD may struggle to take an active role even in simple tasks or enjoyable activities without the assistance of another. In this instance, the person with BPD will seek out a persecutor or rescuer to validate their experience of victimization.
What others perceive as a simple mistake to be brushed off, people with BPD might perceive as a serious wrongdoing. You might hold onto a grudge for days, or until the person has apologized sufficiently.
BPD Anger Triggers
Anger that is intense, uncontrolled, or inappropriate can be a devastating symptom for someone struggling with borderline personality disorder. They may be driven by a desire to be connected to others, yet loss of emotional control frequently drives others away.
People with BPD may experience rage when they perceive rejection, neglect, or abandonment in a relationship. During rage, a person may say or do things that they later regret. This could lead to ending the relationship in the heat of the moment. BPD rage is often followed by significant regret and shame.
In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.
Individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) commonly have a favorite person (FP), whom they are heavily emotionally attached to and dependent on.
A key component of borderline personality disorder is a persistent feeling of loneliness. Treatment, especially within a supportive therapeutic community, can not only help you learn to manage your condition but also ease your loneliness and reduce social isolation.
However, patients with BPD tend to recognize faces with averted gaze more quickly than faces with direct gaze. Averted gaze is considered an emotional and social signal of avoidance (Adams and Kleck, 2005). One of the main clinical features of BPD is the fear of being abandoned (Gunderson and Lyons-Ruth, 2008).
Getting over a favorite person in BPD means that the person has worked through and overcome their intense emotional attachment to that individual. This can be a challenging process that often involves therapy and developing healthy coping mechanisms to manage feelings of abandonment and separation anxiety.