Autistic mothers often struggle with overwhelming sensory input, social demands (like school gates), executive function challenges (planning, routines), communication barriers with services, and emotional exhaustion leading to burnout, anxiety, or depression, especially with late diagnoses and comparing themselves to others; these issues are amplified by heightened sensory needs from babies and the lack of support for neurodivergent parenting.
Most Autistic mothers are not aware of their diagnosis at the time they enter their new parenting role. They find motherhood challenging and overwhelming but do not know why. Due to fear of being perceived as a “bad mother”, they rarely share these feelings with others and feel isolated.
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Stigmatising attitudes and a lack of understanding from non-autistic people can make life difficult for autistic people. This can affect their careers, social lives and interactions with health professionals, which can have devastating consequences.
Furthermore, individuals with Autism generally succumb to health complications approximately 15 to 20 years earlier than the general population. Longitudinal studies that followed people with Autism for over 20 years found that the average life expectancy ranges between 39 years and 58 years.
Among the causes of death, 27.9% were due to injuries, with suffocation being the most common, followed by asphyxia and drowning. The increased risk of drowning among autistic individuals has been confirmed by two additional studies.
In general, people who have an active lifestyle are much more emotionally resilient and focused. There also seems to be some evidence that physical exercise helps people with depression and ADHD, which are commonly co-occurring conditions with autism.
Around 90% of autism cases are attributed to genetic factors, meaning autism is highly heritable, with many different genes contributing, rather than a single cause, often interacting with environmental influences during early brain development, though specific environmental factors don't cause it but can increase risk. Twin studies show strong genetic links, with concordance rates between 60-90% in identical twins, and research points to complex interactions of many genes and prenatal/perinatal factors.
The "6-second rule" for autism is a communication strategy where a speaker pauses for about six seconds after asking a question or giving information, giving the autistic person extra time to process it without feeling rushed, which helps reduce anxiety and allows for a more thoughtful response, reducing frustration for both parties. Instead of repeating or rephrasing, which can be confusing, you wait, and if needed, repeat the exact same words after the pause.
OTHER CHALLENGING ISSUES COMMON TO AUTISM
Among those with autism, common triggers include disturbing breaks in routine, lack of sleep, jarring “sensory stimuli” (noises, lights, or smells) or even undiagnosed mental health problems.
Many autistic people are motivated to have friends, relationships and close family bonds, despite the clinical characterisation of autism as a condition negatively affecting social interaction. Many first-hand accounts of autistic people describe feelings of comfort and ease specifically with other autistic people.
Understanding the 6 stages of an autism meltdown can help parents, caregivers, and educators respond with empathy and support.
We have found that autistic mothers can have difficulty communicating with professionals about their children and often feel they are misunderstood, isolated and unfairly evaluated by professionals and other parents.
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Chinning is a form of repetitive self-stimulatory behavior (stimming) that you may notice in children or adults with autism. It involves pressing, rubbing, or holding the chin against objects, surfaces, or even hands to gain sensory input or comfort.
Children with autism may exhibit rigidity, inflexibility and certain types of repetitive behavior such as: Insistence on following a specific routine. Having difficulty accepting changes in the schedule. A strong preoccupation with a particular interest.
"Looping" in autism refers to getting "stuck" in repetitive mental cycles, replaying thoughts, questions, worries, or phrases endlessly, often triggered by stress, sensory overload, or uncertainty, and linked to challenges with executive function and attention. It's a non-clinical term for perseveration or rumination, where an autistic individual's brain struggles to shift focus from an internal loop, which can be mentally exhausting but sometimes also comforting.
It's something you're born with. Signs of autism might be noticed when you're very young, or not until you're older. If you're autistic, you're autistic your whole life. Autism is not a medical condition with treatments or a "cure".
Autism tends to manifest at an early age. What's more, autism isn't a disorder that necessarily gets worse; however, symptoms can change over time, depending on the person, their coping skills, the challenges they face in school and socially, and the treatment they've received along with supportive services.
There's no single "best" treatment for autism worldwide; rather, effective approaches are individualized, with Behavioral Therapies like Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), speech, occupational, and educational therapies being the most evidence-based for skill-building, communication, and managing behaviors, alongside potential medication for associated symptoms. A comprehensive plan often combines therapies like ABA (focusing on positive reinforcement for skills), educational programs, speech/language support, occupational therapy (daily living), and family training, tailored to the person's unique needs to improve quality of life.
People with Autism Spectrum Disorder need three basic factors for support: safety, acceptance, and competence. The focus has shifted from finding a cure to promoting acceptance and neurodiversity over the last two decades.
Creativity. There are lots of creative autistic people. Many autistic people pursue careers in the arts, such as becoming a musician or a visual artist. I enjoy being creative: it not only brings me joy, it's a useful tool in all parts of life.
Always strive to be encouraging and compassionate. Learn about their favorite interests, games or hobbies and try to find common ones. Be aware of the tendency by autistic people to speak at length about their favorite topics which may require some gentle prompting or redirection.