The 6 stages of grief are described as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and hope. In 1969 Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross first proposed 5 stages of grief after interviewing patients who were dying of cancer.
Certain reminders of your loved one might be inevitable, such as a visit to the loved one's grave, the anniversary of the person's death, holidays, birthdays or new events you know he or she would have enjoyed. Even memorial celebrations for others can trigger the pain of your own loss.
The stages in her model were: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. The seven stages of grief include the five stages Dr. Kubler-Ross outlined but also include guilt, an upward turn, and reconstruction.
Practice the three C's
As you build a plan, consider the “three Cs”: choose, connect, communicate. Choose: Choose what's best for you. Even during dark bouts of grief, you still possess the dignity of choice.
Depression is usually the longest and most difficult stage of grief. Ironically, what brings us out of our depression is finally allowing ourselves to experience our very deepest sadness. We come to the place where we accept the loss, make some meaning of it for our lives and are able to move on.
This is known as complicated grief, sometimes called persistent complex bereavement disorder. In complicated grief, painful emotions are so long lasting and severe that you have trouble recovering from the loss and resuming your own life. Different people follow different paths through the grieving experience.
It's common for the grief process to take a year or longer. A grieving person must resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. The pain may become less intense, but it's normal to feel emotionally involved with the deceased for many years.
Make Sure You Have a Distraction on Certain Triggers
It is in these times that it's crucial to plan a distraction, whether to be around loved ones or planning a trip with friends so that you don't feel the crash of loneliness as you are reminded of your loss.
Emotional: The most noticeable emotion is usually sadness. If you look a little closer, there can be anger, guilt, loneliness, frustration, relief, shock and just about every other emotion. We may cry spontaneously with no apparent reason. Feelings may change very quickly, from sadness to guilt to anger to numbness.
The first records of the word grief come from around 1200. It ultimately comes from the Latin verb gravāre, meaning “to burden,” from gravis, “heavy.” The same root forms the basis of the words gravity and the adjective grave meaning “serious.”
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for grief works by helping you become aware of your negative thought patterns. These patterns can lead to behaviors that make it difficult to process grief. During CBT sessions, a therapist might ask you to discuss what you're thinking about or feeling in terms of your grief.
Depression
This is the longest stage because people can linger in it for months, if not years. Depression can cause feelings of helplessness, sadness, and lack of enthusiasm.
After someone dies, it's normal to see or hear them. Some people also reporting sensing the smell or warmth of someone close to them, or just feel a very strong sense of their presence. Sometimes these feelings can be very powerful.
When you lose someone close to you, that grief never fully goes away—but you do learn to cope with it over time. Several effective coping techniques include talking with loved ones about your pain, remembering all of the good in your life, engaging in your favorite activities, and consulting with a grief counselor.
Hostility, irritability, or agitation toward someone connected to the death. Withdrawal and detachment from family, friends, or at school. Lack of trust in others. Problems sleeping (fear of being alone at night)
Masked grief is grief that the person experiencing the grief does not say they have –– or that they mask. This can be common among men, or in society and cultures in which there are rules that dictate how you must act, or appear following the loss of someone close to you.
Abstract. Dysfunctional grieving represents a failure to follow the predictable course of normal grieving to resolution (Lindemann, 1944). When the process deviates from the norm, the individual becomes overwhelmed and resorts to maladaptive coping.