Forcing a relationship to function is like forcing a cat to speak. It will meow and purr. But it won't be able to hold a meaningful conversation with you. A forced relationship is one in which one or both parties cling to the concept of being together even when they both realize that they're better off apart.
The most destructive relationship behaviours are those the Gottmann Institute has deemed the 'Four Horsemen' – criticism, defensiveness, contempt (eye-rolling, disgust, dismissal or ridiculing), stonewalling, and the silent treatment. Of these, contempt has been shown to be the greatest predictor of divorce.
For a relationship to grow there has to be love, trust, support, and benefit. That's when you feel secure that you both love and are loved equally. It's when there's understanding, respect, and shared values. You can't force someone to love you, but you can do something to make someone love you more.
Think of sexual coercion as a spectrum or a range. It can vary from someone verbally egging you on to someone actually forcing you to have contact with them. It can be verbal and emotional, in the form of statements that make you feel pressure, guilt or shame.
You shouldn't have to force love, affection, and intimacy in your relationship, Maria Lianos-Carbone, relationship expert and author, tells Bustle. Emotional intimacy and affection are what sets a romantic relationship apart from a more platonic one.
Overly controlling behavior is a common red flag in relationships. People that try to control your movements, decisions, or beliefs are more concerned about what they want than what is best for you. If a guy or girl tries to control what you wear or where you go, this could be a red flag.
If your partner is pretending to love you, he won't make an effort to be a part of your life. He won't show interest in your hobbies, work, or social circle. He may avoid spending time with your family and friends and may not want to attend important events with you.
If both partners are giving equally, the relationship will work. But if your partner takes you for granted or doesn't respect you, that means trouble. Sometimes this is a result of relationship stressors that can be fixed. If you feel deeply that your partner no longer values you, it could be time to leave.
Bea says there are a few common signs that you're investing more effort into a relationship than someone else. The relationship makes you feel exhausted. You feel like you don't have a real, meaningful connection. Your partner never sacrifices anything that's important to them for you.
There's a lack of respect.
And that means respect in all aspects. “When your partner shows that they are losing respect for you, through abusive language, abusive acts, and/or engaging in activities that they know aren't appropriate, this is a sign that something is not right.”
He is manipulative.
Manipulative behavior is a major red flag in men because it implies that they are trying to control you. Manipulation typically involves someone exploiting someone else's feelings or insecurities to get what they want. They might do this by making someone feel guilty or ashamed.
Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
The critic, the stonewaller, the narcissist, and more.
Examples of people who bring toxicity to relationships include those who are narcissists, passive-aggressive, or overly critical.
A toxic person is someone who regularly displays actions and behaviors that hurt others or otherwise negatively impact the lives of the people around them, and they're usually the main instigating factor of a toxic relationship.
When dating someone emotionally unstable, you may feel as though you're walking on eggshells with them. The most classic symptom of emotional instability is mood swings. Emotionally unstable people are often volatile.
Unacceptable behavior in a relationship includes any action or behavior that violates the rights and boundaries of the other person, causes harm or distress, or undermines trust and respect in the relationship.
You know you're with the right person when they're able to share with you about what makes them feel loved and they desperately want to know what works for you. That communication and appreciation for each other's different needs paves the way for a solid relationship.
Forced intimacy is the experience of spending more time with another person than you were prepared for, wanted to, or perhaps is healthy for the relationship. It is also encouraging a dependence on another that the relationship was not prepared for or perhaps even suited for.