"If your partner requires you to do things like compliment them all the time, this is controlling and a sign of jealousy," she said. "Other things like not disagreeing with them in front of others or requiring you pay attention to them and only them, are things you should be cautious of, too."
A jealous person holds on tightly to what they already have–usually their romantic partner– to keep others from taking this person away. When envy and jealousy get out of control, it can be highly destructive.
Extreme Jealously
When jealousy creeps into a romantic relationship, it can often fester into controlling tactics to assert dominance. “Do not ignore this red flag because it could also lead to an abusive and controlling situation,” says Kelman.
Jealousy breeds suspicion, doubt, and mistrust, which can snowball into pretty intense emotions and behaviors, he says. We may become preoccupied with the fear of betrayal. We might start checking up on our friend or partner constantly, trying to “catch them.” We might become possessive of that person.
Jealous people are often non-confrontational. They may even come across as super-friendly; they fight their fight against you underhandedly. They will downplay your achievements, spread malicious gossip about you, or just talk crap regarding you behind your back.
Toxic jealousy becomes a dysfunctional way to get unmet, but very normal, childhood needs for affection and genuine care met in adulthood. Think of toxic jealousy as a giant tantrum, the equivalent of a 4-year-old yelling and flailing about on the floor to get what he or she wants, and to get it immediately.
Signs you may be experiencing jealousy include: Anger toward a person or situation that is interfering with something you care about. Resentment of a friend or partner when they can't spend time with you. Difficulty feeling happy for a coworker when they receive something you wanted.
Research has identified many root causes of extreme jealousy, including low self-esteem, high neuroticism, and feeling possessive of others, particularly romantic partners. Fear of abandonment is also a key motivator.
Jealousy may be driven by low self-esteem or a poor self-image. If you don't feel attractive and confident, it can be hard to truly believe that your partner loves and values you. Other times, jealousy can be caused by unrealistic expectations about the relationship.
Ironically, love is the most common cause of jealousy for men. Most men have a hard time accepting their potential partner's interest in others and their interactions with them. This jealousy comes from love and it can be kind of sweet and healthy.
Jealousy is a silent killer that can threaten or destroy even the strongest relationships. The emotions it triggers, including anxiety, fear, anger, pain, and insecurity, are often indicators of underlying problems in your love life.
It is natural to feel jealous every once in a while, but in the long-term, it can have a negative impact on the individual and their relationships. Common symptoms of jealousy include resentment, frustration, impatience, anger, and general unpleasantness.
We can identify six major types of jealousy: pathological (paranoid), romantic, sexual, rational, irrational and intentional.
"Many times people who are not particularly fond of you have a hard time making eye contact," Craig said. "These individuals often seem distracted or disconnected while speaking and engaging with you. Their eyes may shift to other things happening around you which indicates a lack of respect and attention."
Envy and jealousy also add to stress and anger that are closely tied to several illnesses. Anger has been shown to be a risk factor for heart disease. Also, long-term stress harms the immune system and has been linked with some forms of cancer.
When faced with the desire to get a mate's attention, jealousy induction might be quite effective, but it is risky. It can hurt the one you love and even cause the end of the relationship.
Research has shown that jealousy can be a sign of feeling deeply in love with a partner. It may contribute to relationship satisfaction by signaling emotional commitment and investment.
Jealousy can often stem from a sense of inferiority and a lack of self-esteem. Since he might not feel good about himself, he may believe that you think the same way and are trying to find someone better than him. Anyone you talk to might be a threat to him, especially if they are charismatic and good-looking.