Their wild mood swings, angry outbursts, chronic abandonment fears, and impulsive and irrational behaviors can leave loved ones feeling helpless, abused, and off balance. Partners and family members of people with BPD often describe the relationship as an emotional roller coaster with no end in sight.
People living with BPD often have an intense fear of instability and abandonment. As a result, they have problems being alone. The condition is also known for anger, mood swings, and impulsiveness. These qualities can dissuade people from being around someone with BPD.
Coping skills for BPD are often centered around learning to manage moments of emotional instability and/or control anger. Some techniques to help in these situations could include: Using stress-reduction techniques, like deep breathing or meditation. Engaging in light exercise, like walking or yoga.
Know that you can live a normal life with BPD.
People with BPD often have risk-taking behaviors, such as overspending, drug use, reckless driving, or self-harm due to a lack of inhibition. Although these behaviors can be dangerous, and potentially life-threatening, many people with BPD are high-functioning individuals.
Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or those with BPD who may not even know they have it, are more likely than the general population to be verbally, emotionally/psychologically, physically abusive.
The destructive and hurtful behaviors are a reaction to deep emotional pain. In other words, they're not about you. When your loved one does or says something hurtful towards you, understand that the behavior is motivated by the desire to stop the pain they are experiencing; it's rarely deliberate.
BPD is considered to be one of the most serious mental illnesses, as it causes a great deal of suffering and has a high-risk for suicide.”
Borderline personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood. The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age. If you have borderline personality disorder, don't get discouraged.
People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense mood swings and feel uncertainty about how they see themselves. Their feelings for others can change quickly, and swing from extreme closeness to extreme dislike. These changing feelings can lead to unstable relationships and emotional pain.
People with BPD have high levels of distress and anger. They can easily take offence at things other people do or say. People with BPD might struggle with painful thoughts and beliefs about themselves and other people. This can cause distress in their work life, family life and social life.
Persistently unable to form a stable self-image or sense of self. Drastically impulsive in at least two possibly self-damaging areas (substance abuse, reckless driving, disordered eating, sex). Self-harming or suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats. Instability often brought on by reactivity of mood (ex.
BPD splitting destroys relationships because the behaviour can be impulsive or reckless in order to alleviate the pain, often hurting loved ones in the process. It can feel like everyone abandons or hurts them, often causing them to look for evidence, and creating problems from nothing.
Research from 2017 points out that feelings of loneliness are common in people with BPD. Many people with BPD have a strong desire to be close to others. However, fear of abandonment or a skewed sense of self may cause them to act impulsively or aggressively in an effort to keep loved ones close to them.
Family members may be quick to deny or argue the feelings experienced the person with BPD. If these feelings are ignored, the individual may resort to self-destructive ways to express their emotions.
This concept is called “splitting” and individuals with BPD may play co-workers against each other, spread gossip or unload their stress and drama onto coworkers without realising of the effects of their actions in the workplace resulting in unstable personal relationships and dividing the workplace.
Can You Ignore or Say No to Someone with BPD? You can ignore them if you feel disrespected or unsafe, but do this as a last resort when communicating your boundaries hasn't worked. Acknowledge their feelings, but express that you feel disrespected, upset, or overwhelmed by their current behavior.
For many folks with BPD, a “meltdown” will manifest as rage. For some, it might look like swinging from one intense emotion to another. For others, it might mean an instant drop into suicidal ideation. Whatever your experience is, you're not alone.
People with Borderline Personality Disorder have a reduced life expectancy of some 20 years, attributable largely to physical health maladies, notably cardiovascular. Risk factors include obesity, sedentary lifestyle, poor diet and smoking.
Many people with BPD feel emotions deeply and find working in a caring role fulfilling. If you are an empathetic person, consider jobs such as teaching, childcare, nursing and animal care.
Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.
Rage in an individual with BPD can occur suddenly and unpredictably. BPD anger triggers can include an intense fear of being alone. Two other BPD anger triggers include a fear of rejection and quickly changing views.
People with BPD may experience rage when they perceive rejection, neglect, or abandonment in a relationship. During rage, a person may say or do things that they later regret. This could lead to ending the relationship in the heat of the moment. BPD rage is often followed by significant regret and shame.