A passive-aggressive person might repeatedly claim that they are not mad or that they are fine—even when they are apparently furious and obviously not okay. In denying what they are feeling and refusing to be emotionally open, they shut down further communication and refuse to discuss the issue.
Today, passive-aggressive is also used in everyday conversation to refer to a tendency some people have toward a less direct style of communication, especially communication that may create conflict. Some potential synonyms for this kind of behavior are negativistic, apathetic, petulant, or snide.
Passive-aggressive apologies are also insincere and intended to make the recipient feel badly. An example of this is emphatically repeating, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” Coerced apologies or those that fulfill someone's expectations are not sincere. Transactional - “I apologized now, so it's your turn.”
WordFinder also identified some of the least passive-aggressive work phrases, including “Sorry to bother you again,” “Any update on this” and “I'll take care of it.” According to Mercurio, the difference in the delivery of these phrases have to do with timing and attitude.
Aggressive communication is described as expressing your feelings and opinions strongly and as they occur. Clients were taught the verbal characteristics of aggressive communication (eg, shouting, yelling, demanding, commanding, blaming, being critical, or being verbally abusive).
Set clear standards and hold people to account. Make sure you encourage open, two-way communication and provide training so that they are able to air their views and become comfortable addressing issues in a non-passive-aggressive way.
Call it out
It can be hard not to seem aggressive here, so it's important that it's not an accusation — it's simply a more direct form of clarification. For instance, “I'm not sure what you mean by that” or “I think I've missed something here” or “I feel you're actually angry with me, but you're afraid to say so.
Some passive-aggressive people are aware of what they are doing; in these cases, their behavior is a form of manipulation or gaslighting.
Passive-aggressiveness is a behavior where people tend to avoid direct conflict and express their anger indirectly through sulking, procrastination, withdrawal, stubbornness, controlling, and sabotaging tasks (1).
The silent treatment can often be used when the person doesn't have the tools to respond differently. When faced with the triggering of strong feelings, they may not know what else to do — so they go quiet. It can also be a passive-aggressive response to avoid directly communicating how (hurt) they feel.
Major Passive-Aggressive Texting Move: Replying “K”
It signals “sure, I'll do it/pretend to be okay with it, but I'm really not, and I'm telling you that.” Major passive-aggressive texting move, especially when you combine it with a period.
Although not always possible, interrupting interactions with a passive-aggressive person may be the best way to handle the situation. If you feel someone is sabotaging your efforts and treating you with contempt, and that's affecting your mental health, you may need to limit communication and get away.
The most effective approach is to ignore the behavior and pretend you don't notice it. If it doesn't appear to affect you, there is not much in it for them, and they may stop the behavior because of your lack of a reaction.
Fear of conflict:
People may be afraid of how the other person will react if they express themselves openly. Difficulty expressing emotions: Some people may find it difficult to express anger or frustration, so they resort to passive aggression as a way of venting their feelings.
The Passive-Aggressive is the absolute worst on this list because they are the most common. They'll appear to comply with the needs of others, but will then passively resist following through. Or they might use indirect methods to express their thoughts and feelings, so their intentions are never entirely clear.
It's not always easy to spot someone who might fall into the category of a passive-aggressive bully. Some will sabotage others quietly, when no one is watching, then act innocent when confronted. Others are more sullen and argumentative. These behaviors can help you identify passive aggression.
Someone who uses passive aggression may feel angry, resentful, or frustrated, but they act neutral, pleasant, or even cheerful. They then find indirect ways to show how they really feel. Passive aggression isn't a mental illness. But people with mental health conditions may act that way.
Set limits
You are not a punching bag on which others can vent their frustrations – even indirectly – no matter how empowered it makes them feel. You must ask specifically for what you want in a way that is non-aggressive and respectful of others, but never sink into passivity.
Manipulative communicators are skilled at influencing or controlling others to their own advantage. Their spoken words hide an underlying message, of which the other person may be totally unaware.
Behaviors often seen during aggressive communication include: putting others down, overpowering others, not showing appreciation, rushing others unnecessarily, ignoring others, not considering others' feelings, intimidating others, and speaking condescendingly.
Specific signs of passive-aggressive behavior include: Resentment and opposition to the demands of others, especially the demands of people in positions of authority. Resistance to cooperation, procrastination and intentional mistakes in response to others' demands. Cynical, sullen or hostile attitude.
It's important to note that not all passive-aggressive individuals are narcissistic. What characterizes the passive-aggressive narcissist is their barely disguised sense of superiority, conceit, and entitlement. They are inclined to become covertly hostile when they don't get their way, no matter how unreasonable.