In almost every case, envy arises when we are experiencing dissatisfaction in our own lives. It's when we so badly desire and yearn for success, connection or affection from others, and we don't get it.
You feel envy when someone else has something that you want to have1. A prototypical example is when someone possesses an expensive or exclusive item that you would also like to own, such as an expensive car, a beautiful home, or front row tickets to a sports match.
Envy generally involves two people. The envious person may deeply want what the other person has, and feels frustrated at not being able to have it. The envious person can then act on that frustration and may then subtly (or sometimes obviously) attack the other person.
In this paper I present a novel taxonomy of envy, according to which there are four kinds of envy: emulative, inert, aggressive and spiteful envy. An inquiry into the varieties of envy is valuable not only to understand it as a psychological phenomenon, but also to shed light on the nature of its alleged viciousness.
We know that feeling jealous or envious can lead to feelings of anxiety, worthlessness, and even acts of verbal or physical abuse. And it's not just the person feeling jealous whose psyche is damaged–it's the person who is the object of jealousy and envy, too. Jealousy and envy are dangerous.
Jealousy can be a sign of insecurity. Jealousy is a fear of losing something you already have, like a relationship or friendship. People who deal with jealousy may often feel threatened by other people. You may also feel that you are in competition with others, even if you're not.
Envy is only toxic when a person is unable to feel empathy, love, generosity or even just kindness to the other. Sometimes an envious person can be friendly to others but only direct viciousness towards the one person who triggers extremes of that feeling.
Envy and jealousy can be healthy, normal emotions, but when they become pathological, they may be considered delusional disorders. If you have a hard time managing feelings of envy or jealousy, consider online therapy, as it can provide a safe space to talk through and cope with these emotions.
"Many times people who are not particularly fond of you have a hard time making eye contact," Craig said. "These individuals often seem distracted or disconnected while speaking and engaging with you. Their eyes may shift to other things happening around you which indicates a lack of respect and attention."
Although many people consider “envy” and “jealousy” synonymous, they actually have distinct meanings. Envy is “the painful feeling of wanting what someone else has, like attributes or possessions.” If you're jealous, you feel “threatened, protective, or fearful of losing one's position or situation to someone else.”
Older people generally shrug at these things, but tend to envy people with money. Men and women tend to envy different qualities. According to one pair of studies, men most envy social status and prestige. For women, it was physical attractiveness.
This behavior can make the partner feel trapped and ultimately push them away. In the end, the jealous person often creates a self-fulfilling prophecy that ultimately leads to the end of the relationship.
Benign Envy and Malicious Envy
Van de Ven et al. (2009) proposed that there are two distinct experiences of envy, one of which is benign and the other is malicious, and that benign envy and malicious envy lead to different behavioral expressions.
Envious people tend to feel hostile, resentful, angry and irritable. Such individuals are also less likely to feel grateful about their positive traits and their circumstances. Envy is also related to depression, anxiety, the development of prejudice, and personal unhappiness.
Jealousy and envy both involve a feeling of desire for what another person has, but jealousy is usually thought to be more negative—it often involves resentment toward the other person. Envy is also a negative feeling—like a mix of admiration and discontent—but the word doesn't usually imply hostility.
Envy is one of the diagnostic criteria of narcissistic personality disorder. Many of you may have experienced envy from the narcissist in your life.
Envy is the most common basic personality trait shaping human behaviour — and is found among almost one-third of the human population, an interesting study has found.
Envy is a negative emotion experienced in response to another person's higher status. However, little is known about the composition of its most important element: status. The present research investigates the two main forms of social status (objective and subjective) in the generation of envy.
In adulthood. The things that drive people mad with envy change throughout their lifetime. Studies have shown that the younger the person, the more likely they are to be envious of others. Adults under the age of 30 are more likely to experience envy compared to those 30 years and older.