Negative words for kids with ADHD often label their symptoms as character flaws, like lazy, messy, spacey, hyper, ditzy, unfocused, or bad, which hurt self-esteem; instead, use descriptive, non-judgmental terms that acknowledge ADHD's impact on brain function, like "frazzled," "overwhelmed," or "can't focus right now," focusing on problem-solving the behavior rather than the child's worth.
6 Things to STOP Saying to Your ADHD Kids
Why are my ADHD symptoms getting worse?
Many people with ADHD have behaviors that get them in trouble. Some people might tell lies. Others may have angry outbursts. These actions or words can be hurtful to others.
Psychiatrist and author William W. Dodson, MD, estimates that by age 12, children who have ADHD receive 20,000 more negative messages from parents, teachers, and other adults than their friends and siblings who do not have ADHD.
The ADHD "2-Minute Rule" suggests doing any task taking under two minutes immediately to build momentum, but it often backfires by derailing focus due to weak working memory, time blindness, and transition difficulties in people with ADHD. A better approach is to write down these quick tasks on a separate "catch-all" list instead of interrupting your main work, then schedule specific times to review and tackle them, or use a slightly longer timeframe like a 5-minute rule to prevent getting lost down "rabbit holes".
The ADHD "30% Rule" is a guideline suggesting that executive functions (like self-regulation, planning, and emotional control) in people with ADHD develop about 30% slower than in neurotypical individuals, meaning a 10-year-old might function more like a 7-year-old in these areas, requiring adjusted expectations for maturity, task management, and behavior. It's a tool for caregivers and adults with ADHD to set realistic goals, not a strict scientific law, helping to reduce frustration by matching demands to the person's actual developmental level (executive age) rather than just their chronological age.
To calm an ADHD child, stay calm yourself, use clear & brief instructions, provide a predictable routine with breaks, offer outlets for energy (like exercise or fidget toys), use positive reinforcement, and create a soothing environment with activities like deep breathing or music, all while building a strong, accepting relationship.
Yes, those with ADHD, like anyone else, can indeed be untruthful, manipulative, and intentionally misleading. But for those who struggle with ADHD, their various processing issues can often be at the heart of their misleading communication problems.
The 24-hour rule for ADHD is a self-regulation strategy to combat impulsivity by creating a mandatory waiting period (often a full day) before reacting to emotionally charged situations or making significant decisions, allowing time for reflection and reducing regretful snap judgments, especially for things like impulse purchases or arguments. It's a pause button that gives the brain space to process, move from impulse to intention, and evaluate choices more logically, helping manage ADHD's impact on emotional regulation and decision-making.
People with ADHD often thrive when they incorporate movement, pursue passion-driven challenges, foster social relationships, and practice mindfulness. Creating a structured yet flexible routine can also improve focus and boost overall happiness.
The "dark side" of ADHD involves significant life struggles like poor work/school performance, financial issues, unstable relationships, and higher risks for substance abuse, accidents, depression, anxiety, and even suicide, stemming from core symptoms (inattention, impulsivity) and weaker executive functions, leading to frustration, low self-esteem, and feelings of being misunderstood or a fraud, especially when untreated.
10 Rules for Parents of Defiant Kids with ADHD
The 1-3-5 Rule for ADHD is a task management strategy where you choose 1 big task, 3 medium tasks, and 5 small tasks to accomplish daily, preventing overwhelm by structuring your to-do list into manageable categories, focusing on impact, and providing quick wins for motivation. It helps with ADHD by imposing structure, reducing decision fatigue, and breaking down overwhelming projects into actionable steps, making productivity feel less daunting.
Some other common trigger noises include:
The 5 C's of ADHD, developed by psychologist Dr. Sharon Saline, is a framework for parents and individuals to manage ADHD challenges, focusing on Self-Control, Compassion, Collaboration, Consistency, and Celebration. This approach builds skills for better emotional regulation (Self-Control), empathy (Compassion), working together (Collaboration), establishing routines (Consistency), and recognizing progress (Celebration) to foster a supportive environment and reduce stress.
5 Ways to Help a Child with ADHD
To calm an ADHD brain, use physical activity, mindfulness (deep breathing, meditation), structure (routines, small tasks), and engaging, calming hobbies (coloring, music) to manage excess energy and overstimulation; also, prioritize sleep and reduce distractions by creating a clear environment and limiting overwhelming inputs like too much caffeine or notifications.
Use the five-minute rule
Commit to working on something for just five minutes. This can sidestep internal resistance and build momentum naturally. Many people find they continue past the five-minute mark once they get going.
The top 3 core symptoms of ADHD are inattention (difficulty focusing, staying organized), hyperactivity (excess restlessness, excessive movement), and impulsivity (acting without thinking, poor self-control). People with ADHD often experience a combination of these, though some might primarily struggle with inattention (inattentive type) or hyperactivity/impulsivity (hyperactive-impulsive type).
The brain's frontal lobes, which are involved in ADHD, continue to mature until we reach age 35. In practical terms, this means that people with ADHD can expect some lessening of their symptoms over time. Many will not match the emotional maturity of a 21-year-old until their late 30's.
Authoritative parenting blends structure with warmth. It provides clear rules, consistent routines, and emotional support – essential for children with ADHD. This balanced approach improves emotional regulation, reduces impulsivity, and builds self-esteem.
So, ADHD and ASD aren't the same condition, but — because they have so many similarities — it's easy to confuse them. After all, it's not like there's a specific spot on the brain where ASD stops and ADHD begins.