Words are powerful weapons and can do a lot of damage. “ You're *#@! % stupid. ” “ I wish you were never born. ” “ No one is ever going to love you, you're so *#@! % fat and ugly. ” “ You never get anything right. ” “ You're worthless. ” These are mean and degrading things to say to someone.
The most hurtful thing to say to a guy is to tell him he is a lazy husband, a selfish boyfriend or he is trying to control you and not letting you fly. But when you cool down you realise all the things he is doing for you always but the worse words have already been uttered.
Anger is usually the reason why people say hurtful things. Before you dissect those verbal attacks, or analyze the 'whys' and 'wherefores' of the negative behavior, it is best to understand where those words are coming from. Ninety-nine percent of the time, they are the manifestations of an intense emotion – anger.
Kids often spout off hurtful words like these when they have a problem they don't know how to solve, whether they're angry, stressed, or dealing with feelings about something bad that happened at school that day.
We hurt them because we feel shame and unworthiness. Remember, shame is the fear of disconnection and rejection. So, in an attempt to reconnect, we shout, belittle or threaten our loved ones. Reconnection is supposed to make us feel 'safe', but it doesn't.
Hurtful words can have a negative impact and begin to affect intimacy. The residual effects of the harsh and aggressive words begin to cause more anger and disconnect in the relationship.
"Two of the worst things anyone could say to an ex is, 'I never loved you,' or, 'Our relationship was a waste of time,'" he says. "Although often spoken in anger, both statements are deeply painful for the recipient to hear."
toxic. adjective. tox·ic ˈtäk-sik. : containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious debilitation.
Avoid blaming the person for how you feel. Instead, express what you're feeling by using “I” instead of "you." Explain the issue in an objective way. This will be less likely to put the person on the defensive. For example, you might say, “I felt hurt that I didn't get a call to tell me you couldn't make it yesterday.”
Shame results in the breakdown of self-esteem, the erosion of relationships, and the inability to move forward in life. In fact, toxic shame is often the driving force in a person's compulsions, addictions, anxieties, and depression.
When a man hurts a woman he loves, he feels emotions such as anger, guilt, frustration, self-loathe, fear, etc. Although he may not express his feelings confidently, a man will show signs he is sorry for hurting you or signs he knows he hurt you.
Words do hurt and as recent research suggests, they can have more serious and lasting consequences than physical violence.
The truth is, words DO hurt. Many scientific studies have shown that words, positive or negative, not only affect us on a deep psychological level, but can also have a significant impact on the outcome of our lives.
With words, we have something to direct our emotions toward. The words tend to make things immediately personal. When we take things personal, we feel everything deeper. It feels like our inner self is being attacked.
Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.
You may hurt the one you love the most simply because they are the ones that are mostly around. Our emotions, thoughts and behaviours are in constant interplay. If we have a negative mood, we are therefore more likely to act in ways that match our emotional state or get triggered by innocuous and harmless stimuli.
Trauma Bonding is when we are attracted to someone because they remind us of our past traumas. A good example of this would be if you have an ex who broke your heart, you might be attracted to people who remind you of that person.