Symptoms such as depressed moods, difficulties in concentrating, anger, guilt, irritability, anxiety, restlessness, and extreme sadness then become common. Offers of comfort and support are often rejected because of the bereaved person's focus on the deceased.
The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief.
Common Grief Reactions
Emotionally, strong feelings of sadness, loneliness, fear, anxiety or resentment and anger can occur. Some people who are in mourning may feel a sense of guilt when they start to re-engage in activities and relationships, as if they are somehow betraying the person who died.
Emotionally: Sadness, anger, disbelief, despair, guilt and loneliness. Mentally: Forgetfulness, lack of concentration, confusion and poor memory. Behaviourally: Changes to sleeping patterns, dreams or nightmares, or to your appetite. You might or might not want to go out or be around people.
Grief reactions lead to complex somatic and psychological symptoms. Feelings: The person who experiences a loss may have a range of feelings, including shock, numbness, sadness, denial, anger, guilt, helplessness, depression, and yearning. A person may cry for no reason.
The most frequent immediate response following death, regardless of whether or not the loss was anticipated, is shock, numbness, and a sense of disbelief. Subjectively, survivors may feel like they are wrapped in a cocoon or blanket; to others, they may look as though they are holding up well.
Signs and symptoms of complicated grief may include: Intense sorrow, pain and rumination over the loss of your loved one. Focus on little else but your loved one's death. Extreme focus on reminders of the loved one or excessive avoidance of reminders.
Denial. In the first stage of the grieving process, denial helps us minimize the overwhelming pain of loss.
Normal grief describes the typical feelings that people have in the first weeks or months after a loss. This type of grief will get better with time as people learn to cope with the loss. Complicated grief describes feelings and responses that can be extremely intense and persistent.
Tiredness, exhaustion and other physical symptoms – The body can feel overwhelmed just like the mind, muscles can feel tense and ache, and there may even be symptoms such as nausea, stomach pains and heart palpitations. Anger – There maybe anger at the person who died or perhaps anger at those who let it happen.
Exaggerated grief is felt through the intensification of normal grief responses. This intensification has a tendency to worsen as time moves on. This may result in self-destructive behaviour, suicidal thoughts, drug abuse, abnormal fears, nightmares, and even the emergence of underlying psychiatric disorders.
People might feel or act differently to usual when they are grieving. They might have difficulty concentrating, withdraw and not enjoy their usual activities. They may drink, smoke or use drugs. They may also have thoughts of hurting themselves or that they can't go on.
Whatever the circumstances of the loss, the common thread is that the sufferer tries to deny or avoid the normal aspects of their grief. Most often, they tend to hold on to their loved one and refuse to accept the loss.
Physical signs
Facial muscles may relax and the jaw can drop. Skin can become very pale. Breathing can alternate between loud rasping breaths and quiet breathing. Towards the end, dying people will often only breathe periodically, with an intake of breath followed by no breath for several seconds.
It is best to think of the decedent's belongings, paperwork, and assets as “frozen in time” on the date of death. No assets or belongings should be removed from their residence. Their vehicle(s) should not be driven. Nothing should be moved great distances, modified, or taken away.
What people don't realise is that bereavement is a kind of trauma. Losing someone you love is traumatic. Emotional numbness is a common experience following a trauma, so it's no wonder it can happen after a death.
Depression is usually the longest and most difficult stage of grief. Depression can be a long and difficult stage in the grieving process, but it's also when people feel their deepest sadness.
Practice the three C's
As you build a plan, consider the “three Cs”: choose, connect, communicate. Choose: Choose what's best for you. Even during dark bouts of grief, you still possess the dignity of choice. “Grief often brings the sense of loss of control,” said Julie.
Shock and Numbness: This phase immediately follows a loss to death. In order to emotionally survive the initial shock of the loss, the grieving person feels numb and shut down. Yearning and Searching: This phase is characterized by a variety of feelings, including sadness, anger, anxiety, and confusion.
Behavioral responses may include social withdrawal, changes in activity level, avoidance of places or reminders of the deceased, focus on reminders of the deceased. Cognitive, or thinking, responses may include disbelief, confusion, preoccupation, dreams of the deceased.
There are no rules for grieving or no timeline of how long it should last. However, there are five stages you may go through when you lose a loved one. The feelings of grief you have may lessen around 6 months after your loss. It's not exactly clear why some people grieve longer than others.