Your emotions or feelings from grief may include shock, numbness, sadness, denial, despair, and/or anger. You might experience anxiety or depression. You can also feel guilty, relieved, or helpless.
Grief is typically conceptualized as a reaction to death, though it can occur anytime reality is not what we wanted, hoped for, or expected. Persistent, traumatic grief can cause us to cycle (sometimes quickly) through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
The most frequent immediate response following death, regardless of whether or not the loss was anticipated, is shock, numbness, and a sense of disbelief. Subjectively, survivors may feel like they are wrapped in a cocoon or blanket; to others, they may look as though they are holding up well.
Emotional: The most noticeable emotion is usually sadness. If you look a little closer, there can be anger, guilt, loneliness, frustration, relief, shock and just about every other emotion. We may cry spontaneously with no apparent reason. Feelings may change very quickly, from sadness to guilt to anger to numbness.
Thoughts: Grief can cause feelings of disbelief, confusion, difficulty concentrating, preoccupation, and hallucinations.
During death, your body's vital functions stop entirely. Your heart no longer beats, your breath stops and your brain stops functioning. Studies suggest that brain activity may continue several minutes after a person has been declared dead. Still, brain activity isn't the same as consciousness or awareness.
Grief is a natural emotional reaction to the loss of someone or something important. It's an individual experience that affects every person differently and may be expressed in a variety of ways.
Decomposition begins several minutes after death with a process called autolysis, or self-digestion. Soon after the heart stops beating, cells become deprived of oxygen, and their acidity increases as the toxic by-products of chemical reactions begin to accumulate inside them.
One of the most helpful strategies for accepting death and resolving grief is to design a new life without the deceased. This doesn't mean pretending they were never a part of your life, but it does mean moving forward with your own as a way of honoring them and caring for yourself.
Grief affects your feelings.
At times, you might feel sadness, anger, anxiety, guilt, or despair. At other times, you might feel relief, love, gratitude, tenderness, or hope. Try to be aware of your feelings and how they come and go. Try to accept how you feel instead of thinking you should feel a different way.
Stage 3: Bargaining
During grief, you may feel vulnerable and helpless. In those moments of intense emotions, it's not uncommon to look for ways to regain control or to want to feel like you can affect the outcome of an event.
One of the wildest innovations is “living funerals.” You can attend a dry run of your own funeral, complete with casket, mourners, funeral procession, etc. You can witness the lavish proceedings without having an “out-of-body” experience, just an “out-of-disposable-income” experience.
After someone dies, it's normal to see or hear them. Some people also reporting sensing the smell or warmth of someone close to them, or just feel a very strong sense of their presence. Sometimes these feelings can be very powerful.
The Grief Experience
Following a death or loss, you may feel empty and numb, as if you are in shock. You may notice physical changes such as trembling, nausea, trouble breathing, muscle weakness, dry mouth, or trouble sleeping and eating. Feelings of deep sadness and sorrow are common in grief.
They might close their eyes frequently or they might be half-open. Facial muscles may relax and the jaw can drop. Skin can become very pale. Breathing can alternate between loud rasping breaths and quiet breathing.
When you're grieving, a flood of neurochemicals and hormones dance around in your head. “There can be a disruption in hormones that results in specific symptoms, such as disturbed sleep, loss of appetite, fatigue and anxiety,” says Dr. Phillips. When those symptoms converge, your brain function takes a hit.
Coping tips
Talk to professionals, family and friends to help gain perspective about the death and decrease feelings of guilt. Become educated about the cause of death. Accept rather than deny your feelings, even unpleasant ones such as anger. Be active in making choices about engaging in activities and rituals.
You May Poop and Pee Your Pants
While rigor mortis sets in eventually, as soon as you die, every muscle in your body relaxes. That includes the sphincters that are in charge of keeping your bladder and bowels on lockdown, says Jorgenson. So if there is anything to expel, it could possibly seep out.
Gasping is also referred to as agonal respiration and the name is appropriate because the gasping respirations appear uncomfortable, causing concern that the patient is dyspnoeic and in agony.
Muscle cells live on for several hours. Bone and skin cells can stay alive for several days. It takes around 12 hours for a human body to be cool to the touch and 24 hours to cool to the core. Rigor mortis commences after three hours and lasts until 36 hours after death.
The 6 stages of grief are described as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and hope. In 1969 Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross first proposed 5 stages of grief after interviewing patients who were dying of cancer.