Don't yell or raise your voice when speaking. This will show signs of frustration that may cause embarrassment, and then your loved one may “shut down” altogether. Dementia and anger often go together—for both the patient and the caregiver—so it's best for both of you to remain calm.
I'm going to discuss five of the most basic ones here: 1) Don't tell them they are wrong about something, 2) Don't argue with them, 3) Don't ask if they remember something, 4) Don't remind them that their spouse, parent or other loved one is dead, and 5) Don't bring up topics that may upset them.
However, because of the changes that are occurring in their brain, their perception of memories becomes distorted. That means arguing your point won't change their mind but it will cause frustration, fear, and confusion, leaving both of you feeling bad. Know your intentions before interacting with your loved one.
aggression (shouting or screaming, verbal abuse, and sometimes physical abuse)
Use their name when speaking to and about them, include them in conversations, don't talk over their heads, and respect their privacy. Don't talk like they aren't in the room, scold or criticize, invade their privacy, or brush their feelings aside. Do take care of yourself.
If your loved one states a wrong fact you should avoid challenging them on it and instead change the subject to something positive. Saying “you're wrong” is one of the few things you should never say to a dementia patient.
Many people with frontotemporal dementia develop a number of unusual behaviours they're not aware of. These can include: being insensitive or rude.
Some of the more common triggers for dementia like a change in environment, having personal space invaded, or being emotionally overwhelmed may be easier to handle if you mentally practice your response before you react.
Keep well-loved objects and photographs around the house to help the person feel more secure. Try gentle touching, soothing music, reading, or walks. Reduce noise, clutter, or the number of people in the room. Try to distract the person with a favorite snack, object, or activity.
Administration: The examiner reads a list of 5 words at a rate of one per second, giving the following instructions: “This is a memory test. I am going to read a list of words that you will have to remember now and later on. Listen carefully. When I am through, tell me as many words as you can remember.
Don't correct, contradict, blame or insist. Reminders are rarely kind. They tell a person how disabled they are – over and over again. People living with dementia say and do normal things for someone with memory impairment.
Do not talk about the person with dementia in front of them unless they are included in the conversation. Avoid scolding or criticising the person as this will make them feel small. Look for the meaning behind what they may be trying to communicate even if it seems not to make sense.
SPECAL sense begins with three Golden Rules: Don't ask direct questions. Listen to the expert – the person with dementia – and learn from them. Don't contradict.
Aggressive behaviors like screaming typically develop in the later stages of dementia, when the person's use of language begins to diminish and confusion or cognitive loss has advanced.
There is no specific “angry stage” in dementia. However, pronounced mood, personality, and cognitive function changes often appear during the middle or moderate stage of dementia.
Ice cream brings people with dementia to happier, warmer times when the treat was shared with friends and loved ones at special, joyous occa- sions. Ice cream has the power to immediately elicit soothing feelings at the very first taste of a single spoon-full.
Aggression is one of a number of behaviours – often called 'behaviours that challenge' – that can result from dementia. These behaviours can be just as challenging for the person as for those supporting them. Others include agitation and restlessness, walking about, and being sexually inappropriate.
The greatest known risk factor for Alzheimer's and other dementias is increasing age, but these disorders are not a normal part of aging. While age increases risk, it is not a direct cause of Alzheimer's. Most individuals with the disease are 65 and older.
Don't Ignore Them
If you're not sure how to interact with someone with obvious signs of dementia, it's OK to feel awkward. What doesn't help is shutting down and not making an effort to interact. The same applies if you suddenly start cutting back on visits because you're feeling uncomfortable.
They may rely on confabulation or “lies” to fill the gaps in their memory, and they may demonstrate childlike behaviors such as emotional outbursts and downright noncompliance with instructions and requests. To caregivers, this behavior may come across as intentionally manipulative, but this is rarely the case.
Instead of lying to hurt or manipulate a person, which is bad, these are fibs used to validate, reassure, and comfort someone with memory loss. The first thing to realize is that telling someone with dementia the truth can be cruel and unkind, causing distress and pain rather than helping them.