You generally shouldn't make a big fuss when leaving, but recent advice challenges the strict "ignore them completely" rule, suggesting a calm, brief, positive interaction (like a gentle pat) might be better for some dogs, especially those with separation anxiety, to avoid creating trauma or increased anxiety, focusing instead on gradual training, exercise, and mental stimulation like puzzles or calming music to build confidence being alone. The key is to keep departures and arrivals low-key, making them normal events, not exciting or scary ones.
“So many owners have heard the old advice to ignore your dog when you leave and when you come home, but there's really not any evidence for it,” says Zazie Todd, PhD, author of the website Companion Animal Psychology and the Psychology Today blog Fellow Creatures.
The 3-3-3 rule for dogs is a guideline for the adjustment period after adoption, outlining three phases: 3 Days (decompression, feeling overwhelmed/scared), 3 Weeks (starting to settle in, learning routine, personality emerges), and 3 Months (feeling secure, bonded, and truly at home). It helps new owners manage expectations and be patient as their rescue dog transitions, emphasizing calm energy, routine, and space in the early days to build trust.
An hour for a dog feels much longer than an hour for a human because dogs perceive time more slowly due to their faster metabolism and heightened awareness of routines, so a 10-minute wait can feel like 70 minutes to them, and your hour-long absence feels like an eternity, though they don't grasp clock time but rather the intervals between events like meals, walks, and your return.
Short answer: most dogs do not interpret a typical owner vacation as permanent abandonment, but they do notice the change and can experience stress or confusion that looks like separation distress. How they react depends on the dog's temperament, past experiences, age, the care arrangement, and how you prepare.
Some dogs may feel a pang of despair when you leave and then move on. Others may mourn your exit all day long. Depending on the dog, sadness can manifest as boredom, confusion or, sometimes, anxiety.
5 Ways to Say Sorry to Your Dog
Given that dogs can remember us and read the cues, then yes, they most likely know when we are going away, although, not for how long.
Harvard psyhologists reveal that dogs dream of their humans
What you may not have realised however is, according to new research by Harvard psychologists, your dog is likely to be dreaming about you too – their human – the most important thing in their life.
Dogs don't perceive time the same way humans do. Assuming that one human year is 7 dog years, every hour to humans works out to seven hours for a dog. Also, 7 dog minutes are equivalent to one human minute.
The most commonly surrendered dog type is the "pit bull type" (including mixes), often due to negative stereotypes, breed-specific legislation, and high energy levels, followed by other popular breeds like German Shepherds, Huskies, and Labrador Retrievers that may not fit owner lifestyles. Breeds like Staffordshire Bull Terriers (especially mixes) also top surrender lists in some regions like Australia.
The seven second rule. Put the back of your hand on the pavement. If you cannot hold it for seven seconds, it is too hot to walk for your dogs. This rule also applies to dogs riding in the bed of a pickup truck.
Eaten from at least 7 different containers • Been held and petted by at least 7 different people • Taken at least 7 one-mile car rides • Been in a crate at least 7 times • Played with at least 7 different kinds of toys • Walked on at least 7 different substrates (grass, gravel, concrete, etc.)
The dog breeds that are more likely to have this problem are the German Shepherd, Australian Shepherd, Border Collie, Jack Russell Terrier, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Bichon Frise, Toy Poodle, Labrador Retriever, Cocker Spaniel, and German Shorthaired Pointer.
Try to always exercise your dog before leaving them. Take them for a walk, returning home half an hour before you are due to leave. Feed your dog a small meal shortly before leaving. Always ensure your dog goes to the toilet before being left alone.
Dogs Know When You're Leaving
Studies show dogs check around the house to confirm that their humans are actually gone. They actively monitor your departure rather than passively waiting.
To say "I love you" in dog language, use soft eye contact, raise your eyebrows, give gentle massages (especially ears), lean into them, and engage in play or shared activities like walks, which build trust and affection through shared experiences and physical connection, releasing oxytocin for both of you.
Vets' and scientists' opinions tend to vary on this one. Some believe dogs can't tell how much time has passed: one minute of a thorn in the paw may feel like an eternity, or 10 minutes extra waiting for food might feel as long as 10 hours.
Dogs not only dream of pleasant experiences but can also recount traumatic experiences when they sleep. Dogs can also dream about fears, and this may cause them to cry or yelp in their sleep. They could also twitch and whine softly.
Dogs say "sorry" through submissive body language like tucking their tail, lowering their head, making "puppy eyes," licking, and rolling onto their backs to show they're not a threat, which are appeasement signals to diffuse tension after a conflict or misbehavior, often combined with whining or approaching and retreating. They recognize when their human (or another dog) is upset and use these signs to seek forgiveness, though it's more about reducing stress than human-like guilt.
When your dog sleeps right next to you, he is demonstrating trust in his “alpha” human. Your immediate presence provides the security and comfort pack dogs instinctively seek during slumber.
An hour for a dog feels much longer than an hour for a human because dogs perceive time more slowly due to their faster metabolism and heightened awareness of routines, so a 10-minute wait can feel like 70 minutes to them, and your hour-long absence feels like an eternity, though they don't grasp clock time but rather the intervals between events like meals, walks, and your return.
The 3-3-3 rule for dogs is a guideline for the adjustment period after adoption, outlining three phases: 3 Days (decompression, feeling overwhelmed/scared), 3 Weeks (starting to settle in, learning routine, personality emerges), and 3 Months (feeling secure, bonded, and truly at home). It helps new owners manage expectations and be patient as their rescue dog transitions, emphasizing calm energy, routine, and space in the early days to build trust.
Dogs say "sorry" through submissive body language like tucking their tail, lowering their head, making "puppy eyes," licking, and rolling onto their backs to show they're not a threat, which are appeasement signals to diffuse tension after a conflict or misbehavior, often combined with whining or approaching and retreating. They recognize when their human (or another dog) is upset and use these signs to seek forgiveness, though it's more about reducing stress than human-like guilt.
In conclusion, dogs are sensitive creatures that can remember and react to raised voices. While they don't hold grudges, repeated negative experiences can impact their behavior and emotional well-being. Understanding your dog's emotional states and body language is crucial for building a strong and loving relationship.