“If the relationship ended on relatively good terms, it's fine,” says recovery coach Manya Wakefield, founder of Narcissistic Abuse Rehab. “If the two of you are on friendly terms and keep in regular contact, you can and should wish your ex a happy birthday,” says relationship and dating coach Ashley Harris.
Of all the things that you can say to your ex to get them to want you back “happy birthday” isn't going to be it. Instead, all breaking the no contact rule to wish your ex a happy birthday will accomplish is ruining any progress you have already made.
If you never got closure after the breakup, a happy birthday text could actually help you find it. "While wishing your ex a happy birthday seems like an easy way to start the relationship up again, it can also help you see very clearly why the relationship wasn't ideal," says Silva.
Texting your ex on their birthday won't make them miss you. If you want your ex back (or just want to make them regret dumping you), wishing them a happy birthday isn't in your best interests. You see, part of getting your ex back is influencing their emotional state. This isn't gaslighting or manipulation.
“You've ended what you had and both of you have moved on,” says relationship and dating expert Amy Olson. “A happy birthday text out of the blue sends the idea that you are not completely over them and want to get back together.”
Don't text your ex the moment you have the thought or the urge. Instead, go do something else to distract yourself, and see if in 30 minutes you still have the urge to text them. Watch a movie, take a bath, go to a workout class, whatever feels good for you, and leave your phone out of reach.
That burning desire to text an ex or old flame doesn't necessarily mean you still want them (though it might!), but it likely means that you're, well, curious about their life or their family or their potential lingering interest in you.
When It's Acceptable to Text Your Ex. According to Walfish, there's definitely a time when it's acceptable to text your ex—particularly when there are signs that you two might be able to reconcile. "These signs include that they express and demonstrate genuine accountability and remorse for having hurt you.
By texting your ex that you miss them, you're letting them know that you want them back. You might think it is a nice gesture to melt their heart, but honestly, it will only push them further away from you.
The simple answer to the above questions is yes. When you walk away and make him miss you, it's typical for a man to come back to you. The power of silence after a breakup is highly effective in making your partner come back. To start with, going silent after a breakup is a sign of confidence and self-esteem.
Sure, it is okay to miss your ex and relive the memories you shared with them. Until and unless it does not strain your current relationship and makes your partner suspect you, there is nothing unhealthy about thinking about your ex.
Express what you did wrong, say you're sorry, and wish them well moving forward. You might even be able to get some shared closure on the breakup. “I've been thinking a lot about what happened between us, and I'm sorry for how I acted. You didn't deserve that.”
One-word texts
Don't just text “Hi” or “Hello.” If you have something to say or ask, get right to the point. Don't put your ex in an awkward spot or leave them trying to understand why you're contacting him/her.
After a messy breakup, wait 6 weeks before texting.
However, most no-contact periods shouldn't go for longer than 45 days unless you and your ex agree to wait—otherwise, she might move on a little more than you want her to. Spend that time healing and treating yourself with compassion.
Wishing a Happy Birthday has nothing to do with whether or not either of you has a romantic interest in each other. You know him well enough to know his birth date, so feel free to say Happy Birthday.
They remember how the two of you used to celebrate birthdays, how they used to plan for your gifts etc. So, when your birthday finally is there, your ex makes sure to wish you. They hope that you will reply to their texts and maybe they will get a chance to say that they miss you even to date.
Just say something like “Hey, (I know we haven't talked in a while, but) just wanted to wish you a happy birthday! :)” I put that phrase in parentheses because it's unnecessarily awkward, in my opinion.
Your birthday is finally here, and even though you are no longer with us on earth, I will still celebrate just like we always did. I wish upon a star that you carry my love with you wherever you are. Happy birthday to you, my friend! There will never be enough words to let you know just how much I miss you so.