A 2017 study confirms what many parents already instinctively know: You should pick up babies every time they cry. The research from the University of Notre Dame found that it was impossible to spoil an infant by holding or cuddling him, according to an article at News.co.au.
Responding to crying
But even if your crying baby isn't sick, hurt, uncomfortable or hungry, it's still important to comfort them. For example, you could try cuddling or rocking them, taking them for a walk, or giving them a baby massage.
Others, however, argue that picking a baby up reinforces crying, and that parents should leave the child. Now researchers say they have found that leaving infants to cry has no impact on their behavioural development or their attachment to their mother, but may help them develop self-control.
“Graduated” basically means that parents are encouraged to put baby to bed when they're drowsy but still awake. Then, you're to let your baby cry for 5 minutes before responding the first time. After that, you may extend the time between responses by 5- (or fewer) minute increments.
By 6 or 7 months of age, your baby may need some things but want others. At that point, you may be able to resist their demands a little. It's not so much that you're spoiling them if you “give in” to their every wish, but it may be more beneficial to help them understand some limits (often for their own safety).
“Assuming there are no medical issues, there is no harm in a baby's excessive crying,” he says. “They may get a hoarse voice, but they will eventually get tired and stop crying. Your baby may also get a little gassy from swallowing air while crying, but that's OK.
The best way to handle crying is to respond promptly during her first few months. You cannot spoil a young baby with attention, and if you answer her calls for help, she'll cry less overall.
Again, unless there is an emergency or your baby clearly needs a diaper/outfit change, you want to first attempt to soothe your baby without picking her up. You can do this by rubbing her head, replacing her pacifier, re-positioning her, re-swaddling, rubbing her back, shooshing in her ear, singing, etc.
Self-settling is when your baby learns to settle and fall asleep by themselves. You can help your baby learn how to self-settle from 3 months of age with positive sleep routines and environments. When your baby learns to self-settle, they don't need to rely on you to settle them.
In 1998, Harvard research showed that babies who cried excessively were susceptible to stress as adults, and sensitive to future trauma. Chronic stress in infancy can also lead to an over-active adrenaline system, causing anti-social and aggressive behavior, and even affect physical illness far into the future.
Self-soothing
Many parents begin to pause before responding, or allow children to cry during bedtime without running to their sides around this age to teach children to sleep on their own. Even using this method, many suggest that babies should not be allowed to cry for more than 10 minutes without your attention.
A baby's cry not only demands our attention, it also changes executive function in the brain—the very neural and cognitive processes we use to make everyday decisions.
Allowing the baby to cry for 5-10 minutes alone in their bed is not going to cause any lasting harm.
Babies love to be held, touched and reassured that you're there, so settling in a cot on their own can often be difficult for them. Your baby's missing your touch and attention, and they're letting you know about it (NHS, 2019). From their very first hours of life, babies will cry when separated from their mothers.
And when it came to emotional or behavioral problems, or attachment, all three groups were the same. This means that it's okay to let your baby cry a little. It's not only okay, it may lead to more sleep all around.
Crying it out
It's OK to let your baby cry if the baby doesn't seem sick and you've tried everything to soothe your baby.
Long stretches of crying can start when your little one is around two weeks old and continue until they reach three to four months. Inconsolable crying that can last up to five hours a day is a perfectly normal stage of development called the period of PURPLE crying.
So whether the stressor is the sound of gunfire or a baby wailing for hours on end for months, the internal stress reaction is the same. The bottom line is that any traumatic or extraordinarily stressful situation can indeed cause PTSD. Postpartum mothers without a strong support network are certainly at risk.
Research shows that even if a baby stops crying, their cortisol levels (stress hormone) remains elevated. This means that baby didn't learn to actually soothe herself, she simply learned there was no point in crying. Crying in and of itself doesn't create elevated cortisol levels or kick in the fight or flight reflex.
Sometimes referred to as controlled comforting, controlled crying is a sleep training method where caregivers allow a young child to fuss or cry for gradually increasing increments of time before returning to comfort them, in order to encourage a little one to learn to self-soothe and fall asleep on their own.
Self-soothing is when your baby can calm down and go to sleep again by themselves. Babies who can self-soothe sleep for longer periods and have longer total sleep times at night. If you put your baby to bed drowsy but awake, they might take a little while to go to sleep. They might even grizzle.
Studies have shown that infants as young as one month-old sense when a parent is depressed or angry and are affected by the parent's mood. Understanding that even infants are affected by adult emotions can help parents do their best in supporting their child's healthy development.
That is to say that all those who use shouting to control or scold their child are increasing the risk of developmental problems in their child. Children who are yelled at often may learn to respond with aggressive or defensive behavior.