Give Each Other Space “It can be hard to put the other person first, or be the best version of ourselves,” says Nawalanic. “Sometimes each person in a couple, both with and without bipolar disorder, needs space where we can refill our personal emotional tank.”
Give Us Some Space
But as a support person, it is best to establish a loving distance between yourself and the person who has bipolar. Set boundaries and establish consequences that encourage those who have bipolar to seek recovery on their own, all the while expressing your concern and willingness to help.
They may assume that you'll lose patience with them. They may be feeling overwhelmed, guarded, or paranoid. These feelings can hit those with bipolar like a ton of bricks. When they're in the throes of these emotions, they may unintentionally shut others out as they try to navigate what's happening on their own.
Self-stigmatizing is another significant reason for ghosting as well. Those of us with bipolar disorder subconsciously believe that we are unlovable and undeserving of friendships and relationships, which causes us to act on ghosting.
Many people with bipolar disorder find themselves in on and off again relationships. Couples counseling and individual therapy are great options for people with bipolar disorder who are struggling with relationships.
Breakups can be brutal—and can easily trigger bipolar symptoms. The end of a relationship often ushers in dark feelings like abandonment, guilt, and rejection. Even if the relationship was toxic and getting out was the right decision, there may be a sense of failure or self-blame.
People with bipolar disorder, on average, report being highly sensitive to interpersonal rejection, and those who report this sensitivity experience more depression over time (40).
On the other hand, emotional intimacy can be challenging while dating someone with bipolar disorder, because their subjective experience of the relationship and the world around them can often shift without treatment. This can be surprising because you may not be able to follow the shift in their emotional states.
Unpredictable or intense mood changes define the heart of bipolar disorder. It can cause you to unwittingly withdraw from the people you love, or overly engage them.
They may become tearful or feel hopeless and pessimistic. Having low self-esteem may reduce a person's sex drive, or they may feel less affectionate. It can be difficult for a person's partner to know what to say or do to help. They may feel rejected, mistaking symptoms as a lack of interest in the relationship.
The first thing that may challenge a person with bipolar disorder to create relationships is self-stigma (or internalized stigma), leading to self-created isolation. Self-stigma is where a person internalizes the negative messages he or she receives about those with a mental condition.
Manic episodes present their challenges as well. Individuals may have lower inhibitions and seek out unsafe behaviors that put themselves and others in danger, creating more interpersonal conflict. Divorce and separation are 2-3 times more likely among bipolar individuals.
Looking back at what happened during a mood episode can stir powerful emotions. It's common to feel embarrassed, humiliated, ashamed, even worthless. There's often regret, sharpened by fear that you've alienated people in your life.
Interpersonal rejection sensitivity was reported in 37.8% (n = 251) of bipolar II depressed outpatients, 2 while cyclothymic temperament was reported in 44.4%.
As with many emotions, however, people with bipolar disorder appear to be more vulnerable to extreme reactions. “Everyone can become frustrated or angry, but loss of control can be part and parcel of bipolar disorder rage,” says Jeffrey Borenstein, MD, president and CEO of the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation.
Bad Breakups or Marriage Breakdowns
A number of people with bipolar disorder — especially those with a history of severe manic episodes — experience a breakdown in their marriages. If you're going through a divorce, working with your therapist through what is often a drawn-out and extremely stressful process can help.
Experts are careful to distinguish between the odd angry outburst and the long-simmering anger and rage of bipolar anger, sometimes lasting over several days during both manic episodes and irritated states of depression.
Experiencing things such as a death in the family, loss of a job, divorce, or illness also can lead to a relapse, especially if you are also losing sleep over them.
After a manic or hypomanic episode you might: Feel very unhappy or ashamed about how you behaved. Have made commitments or taken on responsibilities that now feel unmanageable. Have only a few clear memories of what happened during your episode, or none at all.
There are times when dealing with bipolar disorder is just too much. Its during these times that I tend to isolate myself emotionally and, at times, literally. Perhaps one of the reasons I would trade in my disorder is because I do not experience euphoric mania. I dont get the emotional highs.