Whether it is a father, mother, son, daughter, uncle, aunt, cousin, husband, wife, or best friend, it is crucial that a pallbearer is emotionally, mentally and physically capable of carrying out the task. If any person is unfit mentally, emotionally or physically, they can serve as an honorary pallbearer.
Siblings, adult children, grown-up grandchildren or close friends, colleagues or nephews and nieces are frequently selected as pallbearers. There is no written rule as to who can handle this task.
Pallbearers are usually close family members and friends. Siblings, adult children, grown grandchildren, nieces and nephews, close friends, and colleagues are all common choices for pallbearers. However, anyone can serve as a pallbearer.
Participating in a funeral as a pallbearer is a time-honored tradition and a sign of trust. It's both an honor and a responsibility. After all, you have been asked to accompany a dearly loved person to their final resting place, which means the family trusts and values you.
The people you choose can be close family members and close friends of the deceased. It's better to pick individuals of the same height so that it's easier to carry the coffin and the weight is evenly distributed. There can be either 6 or 4 pallbearers depending on the weight of the casket.
A Pallbearer is traditionally one of the people who will help to carry someone's coffin from the hearse to the funeral venue. In addition, if the deceased is being buried they will continue carrying the coffin to the grave. As a rule, four or six Pallbearers carry or escort a coffin at the funeral.
Pallbearers need to dress appropriately. Unless the bereaved specify otherwise, men should wear dark, solid suits with white shirts and conservative ties, and women should wear dark pantsuits or dresses.
Opinions differ on whether family members should be asked to be pallbearers. Some people consider it a no-no, while others are fine with including family members. It's possible that immediate family members of the deceased, like siblings or children, may be grieving too deeply to be tasked with this job.
Due to this heaviness, pallbearers are typically males over the age of 16. However, women can also serve as pallbearers. Those chosen are often close to the departed or the bereaved family.
While many may associate men as pallbearers, women can also be asked to fulfill this role. Generally, it is best not to use immediate family members unless this is something they wish to do for the deceased.
Typically, pallbearers are family members or close friends. Both women and men serve as pallbearers. The decision lays on the mere fact that a casket is a heavy, physical carrying and the person selected must be able to bear the weight.
The family usually chooses pallbearers who are close friends and knows the deceased well. If you are chosen to be a pallbearer, you should arrive at the church or funeral home thirty minutes early.
Or, you may have been selected because of your physical strength. Being a pallbearer requires that you help carry a heavy coffin at waist height with the help of five to seven other pallbearers. The weight of both the decedent and the casket varies but expect to help bear 300 pounds of weight or more.
Who Should Serve as Pallbearers? Traditionally, men are seen as pallbearers. But, to answer the question in the title, yes, women do the job as well. This actually depends on the discretion of the family members, or in some instances, based on who will volunteer for the duty.
Pallbearers typically sit together in one of the first rows on the right. At some funerals, pallbearers sit with their family or friends in the congregation. If this is the case, just make sure that you speak with the funeral director so you understand when you are required to leave your seat to help move the casket.
It takes between four and eight people to carry the coffin, depending on its size. Six is usually a good number. You don't have to be tall, able-bodied or particularly strong, and the role of bearer is not restricted to any particular gender or age.
Pallbearers will have to carry the casket with the body inside, so they will have to transport the body's weight and the coffin. 370 to 400 pounds is the final weight that pallbearers will carry if the casket is standard sized, 200 pounds heavy, whereas the adult body is 200 pounds (male) or 170 pounds (female).
Coffins and caskets alone, on average, can weigh around 25-40kg, but can weigh up to 100kg. The actual weight including the deceased will, of course, vary. We would suggest that only those of a reasonable level of fitness and the confidence to carry at least 25kg take on this important role.
Pallbearer etiquette
Carry the coffin with dignity and respect. Carefully follow the funeral director's instructions. Wear smart and appropriate attire. Walk slowly and steadily. Arrive at the funeral slightly early.
If You Haven't Selected Pallbearers
In these instances, you can work with your local funeral home to assign extra employees to help perform this service. You might also work with a local church to find senior church leaders or even youth who would be able to help.
If you have been asked to be a pallbearer but do not feel comfortable performing this role, it is perfectly acceptable to decline. There is no shame in admitting that carrying a casket is not something you feel comfortable doing. If you decline, simply thank the family for asking and express your condolences.
As early as the 1700s, gloves were given to pallbearers by the deceased's family to handle the casket. They were a symbol of purity, and considered a symbol of respect and honor.
Traditional pallbearers dress in modest and dark clothing. Men wear suits with ties and women wear dresses or pants suits. Women should avoid heels and wear comfortable dress shoes to avoid injury. Pallbearers will try to wear typical funeral attire, keeping the focus on the casket and the deceased.
Usually you'll wear a suit in a black or dark colour. However, less traditional funeral clothing is becoming more popular. So it's best to ask the family or funeral director what the pallbearer dress code is. You'll also want to wear sturdy, comfortable shoes in case you're walking across uneven ground.
Coffins are carried feet first simply because of health and safety, rather than any kind of ceremonial tradition.