Narcissistic silent treatment is a type of narcissistic manipulation and narcissistic abuse. Narcissists may use the silent treatment to communicate they are unhappy with you, to control you, or as a form of punishment.
The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.
While space and silence are human needs, the silent treatment is a form of manipulation and abuse. Although there are many ways to address and change this behavior, the person who uses the silent treatment will ultimately have to decide if they want to put in the effort to find more effective ways of communicating.
Some individuals may engage in silent treatment to exert control, while internally feeling paralyzed in deciding whether to commit to the relationship or end it. And, with or without awareness, some individuals may resort to silent treatment in an effort to have a partner be the one to initiate the break.
1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them. Silence is used as a weapon to cut off meaningful conversations, stop the flow of information, and ultimately hurt the other person.
If someone displays unmanageable emotions and easily flies off the handle, this is a serious red flag. Responding with uncontrollable rage or the "silent treatment" could point to abusive (physical or emotional) behavior in the future, says Trombetti.
Silent treatment can be an immature way of dealing with situations and its practice should not be made a habit of. Imagine you have upset your loved one for some reason and they are angry with you.
You might have been given the silent treatment by your boss, colleague, friend, spouse, or parents. It can happen in any type of relationship. They will deliberately avoid you and give you a cold shoulder. It is a passive-aggressive way to communicate that they are affected by something you said or did.
On one hand, prolonged silent treatment could lead to emotional abuse and is said to be as lethal as physical abuse having long-term psychological effects, and on the other, it is often regarded as an effective tool for conflict resolution.
A 2012 study shows that the silent treatment stimulates the anterior cingulate cortex, which is the same area in the brain that registers pain. This means that people not only feel emotional pain when given the silent treatment but also a certain level of physical pain.
Being silent as a form of defence
If this happens often in your relationship it is likely that your partner finds it hard to be in touch with their own feelings of vulnerability. Their inability to look at themselves becomes a shield of self-defence and protection.
It is to make the victim acquiesce to self-erasure and scramble to meet the needs of their abuser, however unhealthy or damaging those may be. Moreover, it is a form of intermittent reinforcement that causes the victim to walk on eggshells.
To Punish You
If you have done something to upset a narcissist, they may also use the silent treatment as a punishment to prevent you from challenging or upsetting them again in the future. While the short-term goal can be to regain control, this is also a tactic to ensure long-term influence.
You see, sometimes what's hidden behind the silence is the feeling of losing control and being insecure. This is how the narcissist feels, and so to gain back control and feel secure again, they go silent. Silence, to those who aren't familiar with this tactic of the narcissist, could be a cry for help.
A narcissist's silent treatment can last hours, days, weeks, or even months. If you are experiencing the silent treatment, it is very important that you don't give in to their manipulation and prepare yourself for the powerful manipulation tactics that they will use to end the silent treatment.
When you give someone the silent treatment, you are showing them that they are insignificant, unworthy and unlovable. It can greatly deplete their self-esteem, leaving serious consequences. It can cause physical issues as well.
The silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks or months. Some people do this because they are genuinely hurt and unable to speak. When they do feel able to talk, it'll be a two-way conversation. A narcissist uses the silent treatment to punish you.
Communicating after the silent treatment is sensitive ground to cover, so keep it simple and state your boundaries and avoid emotional minefields. Often, the silent treatment is an indication that one or both people need a little bit of space to sort things out.
Stonewalling is when a person in a relationship withdraws from an interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner. Rather than confronting the issue, people who stonewall resort to evasive maneuvers.
Studies show that feeling ignored in a relationship by a significant person activates the same brain region associated with physical pain. This reinforces the notion that using blackballing as a way of punishing someone in a relationship says a lot about one's character. Research also corroborates this postulation.
Held, that silence in the face of pertinent and direct accusation of crime par- takes of the nature of a confession, and is admissible as a circumstance to be considered by the jury as tending to show guilt, even though the person accused is in custody on the charge.
Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.
Ignoring someone is not an act of love. In fact, silent treatment qualifies as abuse. Just because you are not using your hands doesn't mean you can't irreparably hurt someone else. Ignoring someone is also not a strategy; it's a flat-out disregard for someone else's feelings.