First, both emotions entail the sense that one is in the spotlight, that something about oneself is being revealed and brought to the fore (Kristjánsson, 2010, p. 77). However, whilst in pride one is typically satisfied about it and shows it off, in shame one wishes and seeks to hide it again.
Instead of being opposites, pride and shame are flipsides of the same coin, since both are exaggerations of the self. PRIDE is seeing oneself as better than one actually is. SHAME is seeing oneself as lesser than one actually is.
Pride, shame, embarrassment and guilt are examples of self-conscious emotions, the emotions don't appear to develop until self awareness appears around 18 months of age.
Shame is a discrete, basic emotion, described as a moral or social emotion that drives people to hide or deny their wrongdoings.
What is the root cause of pride? “One of the most significant roots of pride in psychology is low self-esteem and self-worth,” says Lea McMahon, a licensed professional counselor and an adjunct psychology professor in Houston.
Authentic pride has been characterized by words such as “accomplished” and “confident,” whereas hubristic pride has been characterized by words such as “arrogant” and “conceited.”
The pride expression
In particular, researchers have argued that emotions such as pride, shame, guilt and embarrassment-known as the self-conscious emotions because they require social awareness-are culturally derived as opposed to the primary emotions, which seem to be hard-wired.
Shame has various root causes. Sometimes shame is instilled in early childhood by the harsh words or actions of parents or other authority figures, or from bullying by peers. Shame can stem from a person's own poor choices or harmful behavior.
Shame is a painful feeling we all experience at one time or another. It often involves a deep-rooted fear that someone is going to find out about a mistake we made or a character flaw we have. When we feel shame, we want to hide from everyone. And it can lead to isolation and suffering.
Two key areas of the brain are activated by shame: the prefrontal cortex and the posterior insula. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain associated with moral reasoning. This is where judgements about the self occur. The posterior insula is the part of the brain that engages visceral sensations in the body.
First, both emotions entail the sense that one is in the spotlight, that something about oneself is being revealed and brought to the fore (Kristjánsson, 2010, p. 77). However, whilst in pride one is typically satisfied about it and shows it off, in shame one wishes and seeks to hide it again.
Shame is a necessary human emotion that helps us develop a moral compass, but it can become destructive in our lives. It can lead us to believe that we have to be perfect or else we are not lovable. It can lead us to withdraw from others. It can lead us to be defensive and distant.
[4] reported that shame induces individuals to perform moral behavior to eliminate or attenuate their negative feelings, and to defend against a devaluation from others. Lewis [5] also viewed a threatened or damaged self as the central focus of experiences of shame.
Shame may motivate not only avoidant behavior but also defensive, retaliative anger. Psychological research consistently reports a relationship between proneness to shame and a host of psychological symptoms, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, subclinical sociopathy, and low self-esteem.
Be aware of the physical signs of shame
Slumped shoulders, lowering our head, looking down, avoiding eye contact, hesitant speech patterns – these are clues that we feel unworthy and want to avoid letting anyone else see into us.
People who live with shame often feel worthless, depressed, and anxious. Shame can be a contributing factor to depression, anxiety, and co-dependency. [iii] People who are constantly ashamed may have emotional difficulties and may fight a mental battle each and every day.
Sharing is caring! You won't find “disorders of shame” as a category in the DSM-5 (the official American catalogue over mental health diagnoses), and yet shame is probably the biggest single cause of most of our psychological problems.
Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness.
Unhealthy pride happens when we do or say things for the purpose of people praising our SELF or for making our SELF feel good or putting our SELF ahead of someone else's SELF. Pride wants our SELF to be praised, get glory, be worshiped and be highly talked about, even when we're not in the room.
Numerous studies have shown that pride comprises two distinct facets: authentic pride, which is associated with achievement, high self-esteem, and prosocial personality traits; and hubristic pride, associated with arrogance, low self-esteem, and antisocial personality traits.
Pride is Serious
That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”” 1 Peter 5:5 “Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. '”