Feelings of resentment are not linked to any particular mental condition but may instead result from the inadequate expression of emotions after a painful experience. They may come from a true, imagined, or misunderstood injustice.
There is no one cause of resentment, but most cases involve an underlying sense of being mistreated or wronged by another person. Experiencing frustration and disappointment is a normal part of life. When the feelings become too overwhelming, they can contribute to resentment.
Resentment has the toxic potential to unwind your relationship because it blocks partners from moving toward each other to repair deep hurts. Many couples who come into counseling find they waited too long.
The difference between resentment and hate is that resentment is usually tied to a specific circumstance. You hate somebody in general, but you resent them for a particular event.
Unlike anger that can sometimes be positive, resentment is never positive as it only hurts the individual. Resentment works as a barrier, which makes the person unable to forget and forgive and to move on with his life. In order to let go of resentment, the individual needs to acknowledge his actual condition.
Practice cognitive behavioral techniques to stop indulging in resentment. Put a thought between your feelings of resentment and indulging in ruminating about them. Acknowledge your part in allowing the abuse to occur, forgive yourself for that, and make a decision to not let it occur again.
Bitterness and resentment relate to anger. When we let anger at others or frustration at our situation fester and build up in our hearts, we can begin to develop bitterness and resentment. Often bitterness takes root when we are hurt by others or we think a situation we are put in is unjust or unfair.
Key points. People typically begin love relationships with high levels of compassion, but resentment can rise over time, eroding relationships. Anger and resentment in love relationships are often attributions of blame, usually as a form of ego defense, and are inherently devaluing.
Resentment & Envy
Benign envy simply means “I wish I had what you have”. There are no judgments involved whether this situation is fair or deserved. Resentment, on the other hand, concerns itself specifically with this judgment: “You don't deserve this” and/or “I do deserve this”.
Resentment is the feeling that you did not get your way in the past. These feelings are therefore based on selfishness (the need to get your wants fulfilled).
Resentments are feelings that can become addictive and toxic over time. In order to overcome them, it helps to write down the feelings as they arise. Finding peace with not being able to change the past can help when learning that a person cannot control the actions of others.
Resentment is hurt, disappointment, anger, or any other negative emotion that persists over a period of time. It usually doesn't go away on its own – instead, it accumulates and grows bigger. As this resentment continues, the people in the relationship find it more difficult to express love and empathy to one another.
A: Unlike most forms of anger, which are triggered by specific incidents, thoughts, or memories, chronic resentment is a more generalized state: no one resents just one thing. Most resentful people drag a long chain of bitterness through life.
Where anger (when directed at others) is an aggressive exertion of power to get someone to back off or submit to what you want (either in reality or in your imagination), resentment is a defensive way of mentally devaluing and retaliating against those whom you perceive to be acting unfairly.
But in general, it involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger. The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you. But working on forgiveness can lessen that act's grip on you. It can help free you from the control of the person who harmed you.
Can a Marriage Recover From Resentment? Marriages can recover from resentment, but it takes time and consistent effort from both partners. It challenges partners to forgive one another for the behaviors that led to feelings of resentment and hurt. However, that isn't an easy task.
If resentment is chronic, it is extremely difficult for couples to feel connected to each other. Left unchecked, it can cause a tremendous amount of damage in a relationship, perhaps even destroy it. Resentment is arguably the number one killer of relationships.
Talk to someone about how you're feeling.
Open up about your resentment—talk about how it made you feel and why it's still bothering you. Not only will you feel better once you get your feelings off your chest, but talking it out might help you see the situation in a different light.
Having resentment toward your spouse is like a poison to the relationship. If you don't stop, it can and often does lead to divorce. This is why it is imperative to heal the hurt and replace resentment with empathy (compassion, sympathy, warmth, appreciation, kindness, and affection).
Anger is a secondary emotion
Typically, we experience a primary emotion like fear, loss, or sadness first. Because these emotions create feelings of vulnerability and loss of control, they make us uncomfortable. One way of attempting to deal with these feelings is by subconsciously shifting into anger.
“Resentment is often caused when someone feels slighted or harmed by another person in their life, and they do not feel that the person has apologized or made amends in a manner that is satisfactory to them,” psychologist Charmain Jackman Ph. D. tells Bustle.
Resentment (also called ranklement or bitterness) is a complex, multilayered emotion that has been described as a mixture of disappointment, disgust and anger. Other psychologists consider it a mood or as a secondary emotion (including cognitive elements) that can be elicited in the face of insult and/or injury.