A subtle form of bullying, being patronised can leave you feeling infuriated and impotent. It's a type of behaviour that cuts across generations. An older person can talk down to a younger colleague, but it can just as easily happen the other way around. Men can patronise women at work and vice versa.
2 Answers. "Condescending" and "patronizing" are synonyms and therefore can typically be used interchangeably. Condescending - "having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority." Patronizing - "apparently kind or helpful but betraying a feeling of superiority; condescending."
Patronizing behavior is any form of talking down to someone from the position of projected authority. You've likely heard the term mansplaining—in which a man explains something to a person of another gender that's obvious or that they already know and might even have expertise in.
So rather than take offense, assert yourself in “a calm, positive way,” she suggests. A simple “thank you for your help” will suffice, concurs Gregory Jantz, PhD, a renowned psychologist and book author. “If you answer in your own natural voice, with respect and good manners, you reset the tone,” he explains.
Telling Someone that they Always or Never do Something
Saying things like “You always make that mistake” or “You never do things properly” is extremely patronizing. It makes the other person feel like a complete failure and by putting them down like that, they are actually more likely to act in that way.
Watch out for these patronizing behaviors
Use phrases such as “you always” or “you never,” that can cause the other person to feel defensive and make them feel judged. Tell someone who is expressing their frustration to “take it easy,” “relax” or “calm down.”
But their condescension is likely to be a protective or deflective mechanism to draw attention away from their own feelings of insecurity. They patronize others as a way to avoid any expression or hint of weakness in themselves.
/ˈpeɪtrənaɪzɪŋ/ If you are patronizing, you tend to speak down to others, acting as though you are smarter, classier, or just plain better than anyone else. For the record, your snobby attitude is not impressing anyone.
The family patronizes the arts. He hated being patronized and pitied by those who didn't believe his story. “I'm sure you did your best even though you failed.” “Please don't patronize.” I patronize the library regularly.
con·de·scend·ing ˌkän-di-ˈsen-diŋ Synonyms of condescending. : showing or characterized by a patronizing or superior attitude toward others. condescendingly.
If someone patronizes you, they speak or behave toward you in a way that seems friendly, but that shows that they think they are superior to you in some way.
The base word of patronizing, patron, comes from the Latin patrōnus, meaning “legal protector” or “advocate” (patrōnus comes from the Latin pater, meaning “father”). To patronize someone in a condescending way is to treat them as if they're in need of extra help because they're not capable by themselves.
Patronizing. Patronizing is when you outwardly appear kind and helpful but inwardly feel superior or condescending. If you notice a pattern in yourself or someone else of constantly feeling “better than” or “holier than thou,” you might be acting in passive-aggressive ways.
If someone is patronizing, they speak or behave towards you in a way that seems friendly, but which shows that they think they are superior to you.
The related verb patronize can either be positive or negative. In the positive sense to patronize means to be a patron or a customer to a business. In the negative sense, patronize means to talk down to someone. Patronize is synonymous with condescend.
Many people who others initially experience as condescending jerks actually don't believe they are superior. Rather, their behaviour is often a result of underlying insecurities or social discomfort.
Condescension might be one of the last words you think of in connection to the ISFJ personality type.
Condescending is a common dynamic in narcissistic relationships. This behavior can be traced back to the need desperate need narcissists feel to be above others.
The Psychology Behind Condescending Behaviour
Often, the root of condescension is insecurity. Those who aren't confident in their abilities will look for opportunities to prove their superiority and take comfort in it.
Although it's tempting to give the offender a piece of your mind, remaining calm is the best response. Flying off the handle only makes the other person believe that their behaviour is justified. Also, be careful not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension.
Demeaning behavior is that which is intended to cause a severe loss in the dignity and respect of someone; words or actions intended to debase, lower, degrade, discredit or devalue a person.
verb. If someone patronizes you, they speak or behave towards you in a way which seems friendly, but which shows that they think they are superior to you in some way. [disapproval] Don't you patronize me! [ VERB noun]
Patronizing refers to treating someone with apparent kindness which betrays a feeling of superiority. Condescending refers to displaying a superior attitude.