There's no rule that says you can't ask for money as a wedding gift. It may feel like a wedding faux pas, but these days there's no need to stick with tradition when it comes to your big day. Communicating your wishes and desires is never a bad thing — after all, it's your celebration.
“Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our dream honeymoon/house deposit/renovation.” “Please do not feel obliged to buy us a gift, all that we are expecting is you.
And remember, it is not rude. It is hospitable to fill in the gaps for your guests! If you are a guest going to a wedding that is accepting gifts, check out this list of The 5 Common Wedding Gifts that are Actually Terrible.
Avoid outright asking for cash – though some guests will inevitably prefer to hand you a check on the big day – and instead tell them about your plans. Explain how their gift will directly impact your trip, and always pitch from a place of gratitude.
“The average gift that people give for a wedding is around $100, and that stays consistent whether they're giving a physical product or a cash gift,” says Emily Forrest, director of communications for Zola, a wedding registry website.
A typical cash wedding gift could range from $50 to $500, depending on the same factors listed above. Even then, aiming for the $100 mark is generally sufficient and will be comparable to the average cost of a physical wedding gift.
A typical wedding gift is around $100. The exact amount depends on your personal budget and relationship to the couple, among other factors.
Emily Post and other etiquette professionals contend that "you should never ask for money on the invitation" as it is presumptuous, rude and in poor taste. Instead, the information should be spread informally among family and friends.
Whether it's a 30th birthday or a wedding, if you're invited to a celebratory party, it's customary for a guest to bring a gift. But if you don't bring one, you aren't breaking any laws. More than likely, you won't be called out for your social faux pas, but it will probably be noticed.
If you'd rather receive funds:
In lieu of gifts, we would appreciate a contribution made to our [honeymoon, house, etc.] fund.
Smith estimates that between 7 and 10 percent of guests fail to give a gift. The London-based event planner Mark Niemierko, who works in England, Europe and the United States, has also noticed that few people donate to charity registries, a now-popular option that couples give their guests.
“Just be gentle, be honest, and talk about it. There could be financial reasons you can't participate, or it could be that you don't have enough time to do it and you don't want to disappoint. Explain that gently, and the bride will understand.”
An easy rule of thumb is to stay within the average range of $75 to $200, but you can adjust the exact amount based on your personal finances, as well as your relationship with the couple.
Cash bar wording on wedding invitations
We can't wait to celebrate with you! Unfortunately, we can't host the bar so please bring cash or a credit card if wish to participate in beverages throughout the night. Some beer and wine will be provided for a portion of the evening. It will switch to a cash bar later on.
If you're already in a long-term relationship, then spending anywhere from $100-$200 for a gift is a safe bet. If you're newly dating, then something less pricey is definitely reasonable, like, say, around $25-$50.
Whether you have limited space in your home or simply don't need any more stuff, it's perfectly acceptable to decline gifts at your next event. But when that gathering is one where guests typically bring a present, like a wedding or a baby shower, you'll want to give everyone a heads-up about your no-gifts preference.
Think About How Close You Are to the Couple
If you're very close to or related to the couple (and have the wiggle room in your budget), you may choose to spend more—about $150 per guest (or $200 for a couple).
That all depends on whether the gift is off the registry, an experience, or cash. Upon consulting the experts, a wedding gift should range from $75 to $750—but most agree that $300+ is the sweet spot.
They suggest the following breakdown: coworkers or distant relatives should spend 50 to 75 dollars. Friends or relatives, 75 to 100 dollars. For close friends, family, or if you are in the wedding party, you should spend 100 to 150 dollars—or more.
$100 to $250 is a safe range for a cash gift at a wedding
“Most couples request cash gifts on their wedding day to help them begin their new life chapter. How much you give at a destination or local wedding depends on your relationship with them and your budget,” he says.