Yes, it's generally considered okay to marry a man who isn't a virgin; it's a personal decision based on love, respect, and shared values, though some religious or cultural beliefs might view it differently, emphasizing forgiveness, open communication about the past, and focusing on commitment to future fidelity. The decision depends on individual beliefs, but many perspectives highlight that past sexual experiences don't define a person's worth or future marriage, especially with repentance and faith.
Most importantly, talking and praying freely and openly about these things with the person you love may reveal issues from both your pasts and give you an opportunity to deepen your relationship. If you are asking the question, "Should I date/court a guy who isn't a virgin?" I encourage you to talk to God about it.
The simple answer to your question is no.
It's called adultery. Similarly, sexual relations outside of marriage is fornication. Both adultery and fornication are forbidden, but not marrying a non-virgin. Not only is it not a sin to marry someone who is not a virgin, it is sometimes commanded.
The 777 rule for marriage is a relationship guideline to keep couples connected by scheduling specific, regular quality time: a date night every 7 days, a night away (getaway) every 7 weeks, and a romantic holiday every 7 months, often without kids, to foster intimacy, reduce stress, and prevent routine from overtaking the relationship. It's about consistent, intentional efforts to prioritize the partnership.
Virginity doesn't define the value of a person, and whether it matters in marriage depends on the people involved. For some, it carries cultural, religious, or personal significance, so they may see it as important.
This means that God chooses to no longer remember our past transgressions (Jeremiah 31:34), including losing virginity before marriage. Our sins are as far away from us as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). There is absolutely no doubt that God will forgive sex before marriage.
The 2-2-2 rule for marriage is a guideline to keep a relationship strong and connected: have a date night every two weeks, a weekend getaway every two months, and a week-long vacation every two years. This system encourages regular, intentional quality time, breaks from routine, and deeper connection by ensuring couples prioritize each other amidst daily life, work, and family, preventing stagnation and fostering fun.
While many factors contribute, many experts point to poor communication (especially criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) and a breakdown in emotional connection/trust, often stemming from dishonesty or disrespect, as the #1 things that destroy marriages, eroding intimacy and making partners feel unheard and unloved over time. Infidelity, financial stress, and shifting priorities (like putting family/in-laws above spouse) are also major contributors that feed these core issues.
The 5-5-5 rule in marriage refers to two main communication techniques: one where couples spend 5 minutes each speaking and 5 minutes dialoguing (5-5-5), and another where a person asks if an issue will matter in 5 minutes, 5 days, and 5 years to gain perspective. Both methods aim to de-escalate conflict, encourage active listening, and focus on long-term understanding rather than immediate reactions, fostering healthier communication and connection.
But it does provide some rough guidelines as to how soon may be too soon to make long-term commitments and how long may be too long to stick with a relationship. Each of the three numbers—three, six, and nine—stands for the month that a different common stage of a relationship tends to end.
The biggest unforgivable sin varies by faith, but in Christianity, it's often seen as blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, a persistent rejection of God's grace, while in Islam, the gravest unforgivable sin is shirk, or associating partners with God, if not repented. Pride is also considered a foundational, serious sin across many faiths, linked to the downfall of figures like Satan.
Holiness, not virginity, is His goal.
This in turn enables us to have perfect communion with an all-holy God – something we cannot have when we are living in sin. Whether or not we are physical 'virgins', we are made holy by a loving, restorative God.
Sexless marriage is not forbidden in Islam if both partners have consented to this. But, if any one of the partners isn't satisfied in this marriage, he/she can end the marriage. The consequences of a sexless marriage are not drastic if the partners are on the same page of excluding sexual intimacy from the marriage.
Rudeness
Some people think being rude is the new cool, but many men don't like it, especially when it becomes a habit. That's why this is one of the key things that turn guys off in a relationship.
Males are often predicted to prefer virgin over non-virgin females because of the reduced risk of sperm competition. Does this prediction hold across studies? Our systematic meta-analysis of 138 studies, mainly conducted in invertebrates, confirms that males generally prefer virgin females.
Want Your Virginity Back? Many people who wish they could return to virginity are choosing to become "second-generation virgins." Second-generation virginity is a choice to abstain from sex again for a period of time. For some, that time is a few months; for others a few years or until marriage.
survived the dreaded two-year mark (i.e. the most common time period when couples break up), then you're destined to be together forever… right? Unfortunately, the two-year mark isn't the only relationship test to pass, nor do you get to relax before the seven-year itch.
Establish a 10-minute rule. Every day, for 10 minutes, talk alone about something other than work, the family and children, the household, the relationship. No problems, no scheduling, no logistics. Tell each other about your lives.
Contempt. Of all the predictive factors, contempt is the most prominent one. Based on extensive research, Dr Gottman names the 'Four Horsemen' or four communication habits that are the best predictors of divorce.
The four behaviors that predict over 90% of divorces, known as Dr. John Gottman's "Four Horsemen," are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling, which erode connection, respect, and safety, leading to relationship breakdown. These destructive communication patterns, if persistent, signal that a marriage is likely to end, with contempt being the most damaging.
Emotional distance
As communication deteriorates, spouses may start to feel more like roommates than romantic partners. This emotional disconnection can lead to a lack of empathy and understanding, making each partner feel isolated and alone, which is a major factor in things that kill a marriage.
In relationship terms, The Four Horsemen are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Let's look at each of these and what you can do about them. Criticism refers to attacking or putting down your partner's personality or character rather than his or her behaviour itself.
The 2-2-2 rule is a relationship strategy designed to help couples maintain closeness by creating regular moments of connection. The concept is simple: every two weeks, go on a date; every two months, plan a weekend getaway; and every two years, go on a longer trip together.
Despite our common sense expectations, according to demographic data, the divorce rate for subsequent marriages is, in fact, significantly higher than that of first marriages—65%, nearly two out of three!
How often should you talk to your partner? While every couple is different, it's common for partners to talk a few times a day. Sending a few texts back and forth and maybe talking on the phone at some point during the day is pretty normal for people in committed relationships.