Parents should try to refrain from arguing around a baby. High stress can impact the development of the emotional parts of the brain.
The facts: We now know that parental fighting has an impact on babies, toddlers, and even babies still in utero. Any time young children are exposed to stress, their fight/flight response kicks in, flooding their brains and bodies with hormones like adrenaline and cortisol.
Even during sleep, babies' brains continue to take in and process angry voices. For years now, psychologists have been telling couples who yell at one another to stop for the sake of the kids.
We don't have to avoid all disagreements in front of children, and in reality, we can't. A resent study has actually found that marital conflict can be beneficial to development if that conflict is constructive. Destructive conflict behaviors include nonverbal anger, parent's silent treatment, or parental withdrawal.
Decreased Cognitive Performance. A 2013 study published in Child Development found that the stress associated with living in a high-conflict home may impair a child's cognitive performance. 3 Researchers found that when parents fought often, kids had more difficulty regulating their attention and emotions.
In fact, the studies confirmed that babies can tell if an adult is anger-prone, and they may even try to change their behavior to appease that person. "Our research suggests that babies will do whatever they can to avoid being the target of anger.
Repeated early-life exposure to inter-parental conflict increases risk of preadolescent mental health problems. European Journal of Pediatrics.
1. Changing clothes: Avoid changing clothes directly in front of the child, no matter how small. Children begin to understand their surroundings from around 2 years of age and imitate what they see So stop changing clothes in front of your child.
Experiments also show that 6-month old infants become more physiologically reactive to stressful situations after looking at angry faces (Moore 2009). So it's likely that babies can tell when their parents are embroiled in a nasty argument, and no, it doesn't go over their heads.
A caregiver's facial expression or tone of voice can give a baby a pretty good idea of whether they are sad, angry, or happy. In fact, babies are even capable of having these strong feelings (sadness, anger, stress, and anxiety) themselves from as early as three to five months of age.
Studies have shown that infants as young as one month-old sense when a parent is depressed or angry and are affected by the parent's mood. Understanding that even infants are affected by adult emotions can help parents do their best in supporting their child's healthy development.
Horvitz gives another example: “Babies can store memories as a sequence of reactions,” she says. “They may tense when they see their caregiver's face move a certain way like how it did before yelling; or they may learn not to cry or to stay quiet while in distress due to the punishment of repeated yelling.”
Though there is no definitive answer to this question, research suggests that infants can remember traumatic events, leading to potentially severe future complications. For instance, childhood trauma may cause mental health issues later in life, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
"Basic research shows that young babies even five months old can remember that a stranger came into room and scared them three weeks before. Even though the babies were pre-verbal, they can later remember traumatic events that occurred to them," said Lieberman.
In contrast, arguments that escalate to yelling, threats, or physical force can be very damaging to a child's emotional stability and well-being. With repeated exposure to this sort of toxic fighting, a child can become vulnerable to experiencing depression, anxiety, aggression, and hostility.
A study of 2,000 new moms and dads found that parents who have a partner at home may have up to seven arguments a day, or 2,500 arguments in the year after their baby arrives. From who's sleeping more to what has happened to their sex life, new parents can find plenty to argue about.
This stress response can make children anxious long afterward, including making it difficult for kids to fall asleep, because the stress hormones can stay in the child's body for hours. Since kids can't turn to the arguing adults for comfort, they stuff their fear, and it pops out in anxiety, defiance or misbehavior.
I spoke with Los Angeles-based therapist and psychologist Sherrie Campbell who told me the truth. “Toddlers are probably even more aware when their parents are fighting than older children because toddlers haven't built up any defenses to conflict yet,” she says.
It can also help them release energy and get the hour of physical activity that doctors recommend for kids each day. Pretending to fight can also help children learn important problem-solving skills. Play fighting works only because there's some level of turn-taking and cooperation involved.
Parental arguing causes stress in the baby, elevating their heart rate and increasing their blood pressure. Studies have shown that parental arguing can also cause sleep disturbances in babies. Moreover, parents who have argued in front of their baby at birth can literally alter the development of their child's brain.
You are most likely not scarring your child for life when you yell at them or lose your cool every once in a while.
If your child is doing something that makes you angry, count to 10 before you react. Try to find positive rather than negative words. Let your child know it is their behaviour you don't like, not them. If you do lose your temper with your child, apologise afterwards.