Only Ask for a Plus One if You Know the Couple Well It's only appropriate to ask to bring a guest if you have a close relationship with the couple getting married. If you're not close to them, it simply doesn't make sense to bring this up.
According to Marissa Miller and Jamie Lincoln of Vogue, traditional wedding etiquette says you're only allowed a plus one if you're married, engaged, or cohabiting with your significant other. But since more people today are in long-term, non-marital relationships, this approach doesn't always make the most sense.
If your invitation says plus one, then no it is not rude. They are leaving it up to you as to who you bring to the wedding. Enjoy! If the invitation specifically mentions that you can bring someone, then No.
To clarify, if your wedding invitation doesn't specify “plus one” that means you are definitely not cleared for someone to come with you. "Pressing the issue may cause strife," Dupree says, but there is a time and place to double check and ask for permission. Just make sure it's long in advance of the big day.
With this being said, it's generally understood that a plus-one should always be offered to the following people on your guest list: Anybody in an established relationship – regardless of whether or not you've met the partner in question.
If they don't know any of your other guests pretty well, attending the wedding could be quite an awkward experience for them, so it's polite to invite their partner, regardless of how serious or long the relationship is, or else offer them a plus one.
If you can afford it, sure, include a plus-one for all of your guests. But if not, some of your guests will probably be receiving solo invites, and that's OK! Don't beat yourself up for leaving any of the following people off your plus-one list: New couples or those who are casually dating.
Another way of doing this is by not necessarily saying “Mr. Smith & Guest” but sending it to your guest and adding a note at the bottom of the card or on the back of the invitation saying “You are invited to bring a guest” or “You are invited to bring a plus one”.
If they still bring up the topic of a plus one, be polite but firm: “I'm so sorry but due to budget limitations/venue capacity, I'm afraid we can't justify plus ones.” If you want to add additional reasoning, such as 'plus ones we don't know well' etc.
The average wedding gift is around $100 (per guest), and this baseline is a great place to start. If you're bringing a plus-one, then you can give $200 as a couple. Is $25 an appropriate amount for a wedding gift? $25 may be appropriate if you're simply an acquaintance or co-worker of the bride/groom.
You're attending the wedding to celebrate love and a couple you care about, so give yourself permission to enjoy the evening. Remember: You're never as awkward as you feel, so let loose and don't take yourself too seriously. "Stick to a few drinks, enjoy yourself, and dance," Stockard says.
I spoke to wedding planner Apryl D. Roberts, owner of Memorable Events, as well as Stef Safran, matchmaking and dating expert, and asked whether or not they thought bringing a casual date to a wedding was a good idea. According to them, casual plus-ones are totally fine.
Similarly, for couples who are engaged, live together, or have been dating for over a year, it's customary to offer them a plus one. In today's world, many couples live together before marriage or choose not to marry at all.
The basic rule of thumb when deciding who should get a plus-one is that everyone over the age of 18 should. While there are exceptions (see below), all guests should be allowed to bring someone in case they don't know anyone else attending. We don't know when love will strike.
If you haven't heard the term “plus-one” before, it is a date or additional guest brought to a wedding by a guest. Usually, this refers to a spouse or romantic interest/partner. However, it could include someone who is assisting an older family member or a friend of a guest.
In some cases your date may offer to cover the cost, but when you agree to being someone's plus-one, you should plan to spend money getting and staying there, just as you would for any other event.
It happens. Things come up, especially urgent, unavoidable things like sickness, unexpected deaths, can't-miss work trips, and other legitimate excuses. Whatever the reason, it's how you handle your RSVP status that counts. Regardless of how close you are to the couple, no-showing is NEVER appropriate.
It's not always easy to figure out how to ask about bringing a plus one, but you can use this as an example: "It's totally okay if you say no, but I just wanted to check if there's room for me to bring a plus one to your wedding."
We agree that asking the question before accepting an invitation is not polite and gives the impression that you need to be convinced the party is worth your time.
If someone asks you why they were not invited to your party, you might explain those limitations if they are indeed the case. If you had other reasons for not inviting this particular person, I don't think it is polite to point them out. A simple “I am sorry, but I was limited as to my guest list” should suffice.
When you receive your invite or save the date from the couple, if you have a plus one, you will see another guest name addressed along with your name, (for example, Tara and Ritesh) or if the plus one name is unknown by the couple, it will say something like “Tara and Guest.”
Don't ask if… you're casually seeing someone.
That is unless your invitation clearly states that you have a plus-one. If it doesn't, it's safe to surmise that asking the couple for one anyway will result in being turned down. The same could be said if you're single or otherwise unattached.
Although it might be uncomfortable, you can most certainly say "No." While you technically don't need an excuse, this is one of the times where you should provide one to be polite. "Having some kind of an explanation is good just so the other person can understand your perspective," Post says.
The Wedding Guru says: This is a strange situation. It's proper etiquette to invite the significant others of the invitee, so a spouse, fiancé, or partner should be invited.