None of the ethics boards that regulate mental health professionals specifically prohibit the use of touch or view it as unethical. There are times when your therapist may believe that it's more harmful to you not to initiate a hug. In some cases, nonsexual, therapeutic touch may be beneficial.
Let's recap. It's natural and not uncommon to feel close to your therapist and want to be friends with them. However, building a personal relationship with them goes against most mental health counseling codes of ethics. It may also impact your therapeutic process and lessen therapy's benefits.
In all cases permission is sought before the gesture is made, in order to maintain the empowerment and safety of the person in treatment. “Would it be okay to move a little closer?” and “Would you like to take my hand?” are typical questions a therapist might ask.
Your therapist won't mind if you ask but don't expect him or her to comply with your request, especially your need to be held. Your request exceeds the boundaries between patient/client privilege.
It is absolutely appropriate to ask for a hug from your therapist.
It's okay to ask your therapist about their life. Any questions you have in therapy are valid and are likely relevant to the therapeutic process. Whether your therapist answers the question and shares personal information can depend on their individual personality, philosophy, and approach to your treatment.
Hands. Your client's hands can give you clues about how they're reacting to what comes up in the session. Trembling fingers can indicate anxiety or fear. Fists that clench or clutch the edges of clothing or furniture can suggest anger.
Sharing something you think is too sensitive or personal can be uncomfortable. But know you're not alone in thinking you've disclosed too much in therapy. When this happens, it can help to explore why you think you've overshared and talk it over with your therapist.
Your therapist's relationship with you exists between sessions, even if you don't communicate with each other. She thinks of your conversations, as well, continuing to reflect on key moments as the week unfolds. She may even reconsider an opinion she had or an intervention she made during a session.
The purpose of these notes is to help your therapist do their job better. They use them to record important information, see if you're making progress on your therapy goals, and figure out the most effective way to work with you.
Disturbances in non-verbal communication are more severe and often longer lasting than disturbances in verbal language. Using touch in therapy may be the only way to heal some of these disturbances. To disregard all physical contact between therapist and client may deter or limit psychological growth.
Not Every Therapist Takes Notes
Some may take notes after a session or only file specific worksheets or documents about a client. Not all therapists provide treatment in the same way, so it may not necessarily mean your therapist isn't paying attention or isn't trying to support you.
None of the ethics boards that regulate mental health professionals specifically prohibit the use of touch or view it as unethical. There are times when your therapist may believe that it's more harmful to you not to initiate a hug. In some cases, nonsexual, therapeutic touch may be beneficial.
The therapist should not treat close relatives or friends of the patient. No practical advice to a patient. Maintain objectivity and neutrality toward the patient and avoid excessive worrying/thinking about the patient. Seek supervision if you are tempted to, and before you do, violate any of these rules.
While not common, a friendship can develop when you've finished therapy. There are no official rules or ethical guidelines from either the American Psychological Associated or American Psychiatric Association regarding friendships with former clients.
Back to Fictional Reader's question about why it may be difficult to look a therapist in the eyes. Some possible root causes range from guilt, shame, anxiety, low self-esteem, shyness, past abuse, depression or autistic spectrum disorders to varying cultural norms and cognitive overload.
While venting can be a natural part of working through our negative emotions, does it become toxic at a certain point? It turns out, it can. And that's when venting becomes trauma dumping — the act of oversharing your emotions in a way that becomes harmful to the other person.
If you trust people easily, you may become attached to your therapist easily. Regardless, it's natural in any intimate relationship that you'd grow some sort of attachment. The therapy relationship is not different. Instead, it is actually a reflection of other relationships in your life.
Some of the things psychologists look for are your posture, hands, eye contact, facial expressions, and the position of your arms and legs. Your posture says a lot about your comfort level.
You feel the need for a hug after some sessions because you and your therapist have shared some very deep emotional communication. A hug would feel like a resolution to you, would feel like a big sigh and a lessening of the intensity of the emotions you are feeling at that moment.
Therapists usually want to find ways to help you go deeper. When they respond with silence or a question, that's usually what they're trying to do: get you to hear yourself and reflect on what you just said. They want you to keep going.
The short answer is that you can tell your therapist anything – and they hope that you do. It's a good idea to share as much as possible, because that's the only way they can help you.
After you realize that transference is very common and not shameful, talk about your feelings with your therapist. Professing your love (or whatever emotion you're feeling) may be easier said than done, but it can help your therapist understand your issues and help you get the most out of your therapy.
Small changes in behavior can often be the first sign that a therapist is attracted to a client. At this point, the therapist might not be fully aware of the attraction, leading them to act on emotions they would otherwise keep in check. The therapist might seem more flirtatious, and even seductive.