You can demonstrate your love, attention, and support to a grieving person in a number of ways. While just your presence can be enough, still a kind word, a compassionate touch, or a loving hug can mean much to show the bereaved that you care about and support them.
If you have an adult with you at the funeral home, it is ok to touch a dead body, and you will not get in trouble. You are naturally curious, and sometimes when you see and touch a dead body it helps you answer your questions. Remember to be gentle and have an adult help you.
Humans need to be touched, hugged and cherished. When you grieve, the need for this is even more so. So extend your hand, an arm, your hug. The right touch allows the other to be free and not to feel claimed.
Visitation Etiquette
Dress nicely, but you don't need to be too formal. The standard protocol for a funeral visitation is to stop by, introduce yourself to the family (if needed) and pay your condolences, and then leave after a short period of time.
Here are a few examples of comments to avoid: “I know exactly how you feel.” “God never gives us more than we can handle. God must have needed another angel in heaven. This is God's plan.” “Just try to be strong.” Or anything starting with the words “at least,” such as, “At least you have your other children with you.
At the funeral service, family traditionally sit on the right-hand side while friends, colleagues and other mourners sit on the left. Immediate family and close friends sit in the front few rows.
If you are unsure about what is appropriate at a funeral service, do what others do; stand when people stand, and sit when people sit. It helps if you sit at the back of the venue so you can follow the other's lead. Don't take offense by religion. Remember, you do not have to do anything you are uncomfortable with.
It is quite alright for there to be fun at a funeral.
At my funeral I want to have an omelet bar with a sign that says “good mourning” so I can get one final laugh from beyond the grave.
Sending Hugs in the Mail
Some ideas for a message could be: “This card is one giant hug that you can hold for as long as you want.” “Sending so many millions of hugs to the one I'm thinking of most.” “I thought you might be in need of a hug, so I'm sending one your way with all my love.”
Why Do People Push Loved Ones Away After a Death? Pushing loved ones away when grieving usually results from dealing with the significance of a tremendous loss. Withdrawing from others is sometimes easier to do for a bereaved person than facing their pain and suffering head-on.
4) Don't ever minimize their feelings or cut them off, rather let them express their feelings freely. 5) If it's appropriate, give them a hug or pat them slowly on their shoulder or back. Physical touch often helps comfort a person.
It is very unlikely that meningococci would survive in a body, including the nasopharynx, for long after death, especially if the body is embalmed. Transmission of meningococci through hongi (pressing noses), kissing, or other close contact with the body is extremely unlikely.
A casket is a specially-designed box made to contain a deceased person's body. It's typically used during a funeral service for viewing the body. Then, if the family has not chosen a cremation burial, the casket containing the body is lowered into the ground during the burial ceremony.
Some reasons to not go to a funeral include: You want to go, but the service is private. The service is out of town and travel would be difficult. You are sick or have a chronic condition that would make it difficult, impossible, or highly uncomfortable to attend.
"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.
Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family. A good recommendation is to say something simple such as “I am sorry about your loss”, especially if there are many other guests waiting to share their condolences.
Is it bad to cry at a funeral? Everyone shows their emotions differently and it can be healthy to cry at a funeral – don't feel embarrassed. Though, if you become a bit overwhelmed and find yourself crying uncontrollably, it's a good idea to excuse yourself until you have regained control.
Try jumping jacks, push-ups or jog on the spot, if you have enough space and privacy do so before the funeral. Otherwise, simply pinching yourself could be enough to stop crying. Others bite their cheek, dig their nails into the palm of their hand, or stretch as a means of distraction.
Wear dark, subdued clothing
Outside of color, the most important rule to follow regarding funeral attire is to avoid drawing attention to yourself. “You're there as someone honoring another, and it's not about you,” Cunningham says. Abstain from provocative clothing or open-toed shoes like flip-flops.
General Seating Rules
For the most part, the first few rows of seating are designated for family only, with immediate family (and spouses or significant others) sitting in the very first row and extended family members sitting behind them.
During a funeral ceremony, you typically stay silent unless invited to speak during the service. At a visitation, you usually chat with the family and other guests.