“Some kinds of narcissists will come across as extremely needy. If there is always a huge problem or drama, everyone has to focus on them—pitying them, running to their rescue, and helping them clean up their messes,” says Ho.
Whereas a needy man will play at being meek and unimportant in order to get approval from others, the narcissist proclaims his own greatness to get approval from others.
Someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder cannot necessarily make another person needy. However, there are common relationship patterns among people with NPD that can certainly exacerbate any feelings of neediness, abandonment, and leave their partner feeling very needy.
A needy person is someone who feels they need more attention and validation than others in a group. They feel the world revolves around them, so it's hard to get their balance back when anything throws this off-balance. Needy people are those who constantly need reassurance from others.
Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.
What you must understand is that not every narcissistic person is the same. An emotionally needy narcissist is typically selfish, emotionally unintelligent, and manipulative. These individuals have no idea who they are, who they want to be, or who they should be.
While clingy tendencies may have been “ok” in your previous relationship, being overly needy is generally considered a toxic dating habit.
Neediness often stems from anxiety, fear of abandonment, and a desire to be loved and reassured. It can manifest as smothering, controlling, or jealous behaviors that push people away rather than support the connection someone is usually trying to create.
Some of the behaviors that could be labeled as needy in a relationship, but in reality point to something else, include: a push for continuous conversation (texting, calling, emailing, social media posting) persistently asking for reaffirmations of love. seeking out compliments.
Attention-seeking behavior—positive or negative—is essentially narcissistic supply. Wanting attention, accolades, and validation are not inherently narcissistic. We all need to feel heard and accepted, but narcissists crave this attention constantly.
High stress, relationship problems, exhaustion, and illness can all increase a person's feelings of neediness and/or needy behaviors. Some people tend to exhibit characteristics of neediness more than others, and in these people, the term might be used to describe their personality.
Codependency is when two people are locked in a life where they feed off on another, causing mental anguish. Narcissism is when one of the pair is self-centered, arrogant, and lacks empathy for their partner.
Another report from the University of Louisiana found that all kinds of narcissists, along with manipulators and psychopaths, (the so-called “dark triad” of personality traits) are capable of being caring towards others; as long as they see benefit to themselves in doing so.
Minimizing or dismissing someone's needs
"This is where the gaslighter makes the victim's needs feel unimportant," she says. For example, they may say things like, "Why do you keep asking me for things?" or "You are so needy," which are intended to make the other person question and doubt themselves.
Although needy behaviors are typically intended to get a partner to stay, they often have the opposite effect. However, being needy or having an anxious attachment style is something you can change if you're willing to put in the time and effort.
Needy can be a slur, but it might not always be an unfair label. It's actually healthy to have emotional needs and a need to connect in a relationship. That's the whole point of pairing up with someone.
A 2021 study found that clingy behavior is the biggest turn-off in romantic relationships. The survey of over 1,400 young adults in their twenties and thirties reported 78 difficulties they've experienced in relationships.
Codependents are needy, demanding, and submissive. They suffer from abandonment anxiety and, to avoid being overwhelmed by it, they cling to others and act immaturely. These behaviors are intended to elicit protective responses and to safeguard the "relationship" with their companion or mate upon whom they depend.
They're often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.