Not talking can represent unconscious conflicts about intimacy. It's often hard to believe that someone we love and care about has anxiety about being close to us or that we have anxiety about being close to them. But many of us struggle on a deep, unconscious level with such conflicts.
Try to stay calm and avoid getting defensive yourself; instead, focus on soothing your partner and creating a safe space for them to open up again. With patience and understanding, you should be able to help your partner feel safe enough to talk through whatever is troubling them.
An external trauma or shock can fundamentally change the dynamic of a relationship, and radically change our ability to communicate with our partner. External shocks or traumas can include: Sudden illness or health scares. Bereavement, or loss.
Lack of Communication
Communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. If you find that you and your partner struggle to communicate effectively, it could be a red flag. Examples of poor communication include not listening, interrupting, or failing to express your thoughts and feelings.
Stonewalling is when a person in a relationship withdraws from an interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner. Rather than confronting the issue, people who stonewall resort to evasive maneuvers.
Lack of communication can happen in all relationships, and if ignored, can often lead to bigger issues for couples. A lack of communication can lead to blame, relationship anxiety, depression, and resentment in marriage or relationships, and may increase the likelihood of a breakup, separation, or divorce.
Impact on Relationships
Whatever the underlying cause, stonewalling can damage a relationship. 1 Partners who are stonewalled often feel demeaned or abused. They may even begin to question their own self-worth. Moreover, shutting someone out often escalates the very situation it was meant to avert.
Nemmers says feeling emotionally numb has a few outward signs people can watch for, whether they're experiencing it themselves or recognizing it in someone else: Flat, blank stares. Dampened sense of excitement. Isolating from activities and people.
The silent treatment (also known as withholding) is used to punish and regain control of a person. It may feel good to ignore your partner when you feel slighted but, it keeps you from finding real solutions to the problems that are bugging you the most.
Men pull away due to multiple reasons ranging from fears, insecurities, or anxieties to desperation or loss of love. It is crucial for you to figure out the reason behind his pulling away to protect your relationship. And probably the best way to deal with it is to give him space. Let him figure out his emotions.
Send a text or note asking whether the issue was why you haven't heard from your friend. Make an honest apology. Ask what you can do to make things right and move forward. Avoid calling your friend out on social media or in front of your other friends.
Intense emotions, such as anger, frustration, or sadness, can become overpowering and make it challenging to engage constructively in the conversation. Shutting down may be an automatic defense mechanism to protect oneself from further emotional distress.
The “stonewaller” personality is the behavior of an individual who tends to shut down during an argument and refuses to communicate or even cooperate. This person is emotionally closed off, and at times it could be extremely hard to reach them.
So, is it normal for a couple not to talk for days? Such behavior in a relationship can occur for several reasons, such as conflict, lack of communication skills, or misunderstanding. Whether you should worry or not depends on what preceded such behavior, the reasons behind the behavior, and possible consequences.
In relationship terms, The Four Horsemen are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Let's look at each of these and what you can do about them. Criticism refers to attacking or putting down your partner's personality or character rather than his or her behaviour itself.
'Communication problems' is the most common factor that leads to divorce, at 65%.
The narcissist suddenly stops responding to you or goes completely silent, refusing to engage in any communication. This can be either in person or virtually (“ghosting”). They ignore your attempts at communication and physical touch. This can be used as a way to punish you or avoid addressing uncomfortable topics.
All relationships have challenges. Unrealistic expectations, uncompromising stances, and lack of conflict can be signs of a doomed relationship. Other signs include irreconcilable differences in sexual desire, negative predictions, and lack of affection and gratitude.
Many have asked, “what are backburner relationships?” Backburner relationships describe partnerships where you maintain communication with someone from your past or an ex should your present relationship not work out. According to psychologists, many of us can't detach from an ex.