Tell them that you really want to understand, and ask if they can say more about what they are feeling and why. Give the person hope for recovery by reassuring them that people with BPD can and do get better. Accept that the person is struggling and that life goals might need to be broken down into smaller steps.
1 Their moods can be volatile and intense, and it may be hard to control anger. 1 In addition, people with BPD may feel like they're being abandoned at the smallest slight, and these feelings are very real. This can trigger an emotional reaction that interferes with healthy communication.
If someone has a borderline personality, they will always push people away, in fear of getting hurt. This is extremely difficult and painful for the people around them, as the sufferer can seem cold and angry, attention seeking, or not wanting help.
People with borderline personality disorders are aware of their behaviors and the consequences of them and often act in increasingly erratic ways as a self-fulfilling prophecy to their abandonment fears.
Don't point out how you feel that they're wrong, try to win the argument, or invalidate their feelings, even when what they're saying is totally irrational. Do your best to stay calm, even when the person with BPD is acting out.
Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.
Communication is a problem in many relationships, but if you have borderline personality disorder (BPD), it can be especially difficult. It can seem like expressing how you feel is impossible. You may find that no matter how hard you try, friends and families don't understand you.
Their high energy and spontaneous nature make being with them a great pleasure. The downside is that they can be impulsive and take too many risks. But if they can healthily channel their bold nature and bring it into the relationship, it can lead to exciting and memorable experiences.
But what makes the condition even harder is that many people who live with Borderline Personality Disorder don't even know they have it. BPD is one of the most commonly misdiagnosed mental health conditions. It's so misdiagnosed, in fact, that there isn't even an accurate prevalence rate for the condition.
Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.