A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision maker in the child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control disempowers the child; the parent sees the child simply as an extension of themselves.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive, and tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their children.
The tragic reality is that narcissists don't (and can't) love their children in the way that ordinary people do. They will tell you that they do (and most likely they will believe that they do), but their love can only be of the transactional, conditional type, even with their children.
Children who grow up with a narcissistic parent tend to suffer from at least some of the following as children and as adults: anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, self-doubt, self-blame, indecision, people-pleasing tendencies, difficulties with emotional intimacy, and codependent relationships.
They shift blame onto their children.
Narcissists have the need to feel perfect, so they shirk responsibilities for their own missteps and blame their children. They can be cruel when they feel criticized, and their comments often sting.
Narcissistic parents treat their children as instruments for their own self-enhancement, largely ignoring their children's developmental needs. Children of narcissistic parents often suffer from low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression as adults.
Indecision and Guilt
Adult children of narcissistic parents fear that they will hurt someone else by choosing to do what's right for them. They have been 'trained' to consider their parent's needs first and foremost, and it is therefore hard for them to consider their own needs without feeling selfish for doing so.
A mother with narcissistic tendencies is typically overly concerned with her daughter's appearance and achievements and how they reflect back on her, says Lis. As a result, the daughter doesn't learn to be her authentic self.
“You knew I didn't like it, but you still did it to hurt me.” “You only think about yourself.” “You always look for attention.” “You don't deserve everything that I have done for you.”
A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is above others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, experience hypersensitivity to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and worst of all, maybe naïve to the damage she is causing.
Through PAS, narcissists use their children as pawns to get back at their ex in an effort to prove their dominance. To protect you and your child's best interests, it is crucial to understand what PAS is and what you can do if you believe your ex-spouse is using this as a tactic with your children.
In many families, a narcissistic sibling or child slowly takes over by demanding the most attention and loyalty, insulting everyone (even parents), violating the family's rules, and manipulating its decision-making.
Summary: For most people, narcissism wanes as they age. A new study reports the magnitude of the decline of narcissistic traits is tied to specific career and personal relationship choices. However, this is not true for everyone.
Narcissistic parents often cannot cope with complex relationships and may "replace" the child as they enter adolescence and early adulthood. Being rejected and replaced can cause deep-rooted insecurities, as well as lifelong relationship and self-esteem issues.
Being raised by a narcissist can be a traumatic event. To cope, you might self-regulate your emotions, which makes it difficult to deal with your own feelings. So, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem are common effects, Roeske says. Addiction is also common, says Dr.
The obsession or focus a narcissistic parent has on a child often has to do with the parent's own emotional needs. Narcissistic parents support children's “greatness” and encourage their talents, with the excuse that they love their child and are sacrificing themselves for the child's future.
A mother with narcissistic personality disorder cannot give their children adequate attention and nurturing. Their entitlement often results in them mistreating their children. Additionally, a narcissistic mother will tend to use her children as a prop or device to meet her own needs.
Narcissistic parenting creates huge problems for the growing child. Daughters of narcissistic mothers often become enmeshed with their parent, losing contact with their true self and growing up without boundaries and without the ability to recognise or nurture healthy relationships.
Narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. Some children may show traits of narcissism, but this is often typical for their age and doesn't mean they'll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder.
Narcissistic parents often view their children as an extension of themselves and try to control or manipulate them into being who they want them to be. The level of manipulation, brainwashing, demoralizing, and self-esteem destruction that a narcissistic parent inflicts upon a child is sadistic.
Conjectural narcissistic personality disorder (with at least five traits), too was significantly more prevalent among the first-born children in comparison with the second-born children (p<0.05), which was as well significantly more prevalent in male participants of the associated group (p<0.05).
Children of narcissists often end up in relationships with people who have narcissistic traits. These children feel like they can never be good enough for their partner or themselves, so they become codependent on the other person to make them happy and validate their self-worth.
The child is often shamed and humiliated by a narcissistic parent and will grow up with poor self-esteem. The child often will become either a high achiever or a self-saboteur, or both. The child will need trauma recovery and will have to re-parent themselves in adulthood.