As you go through different stages, you know one thing will never change: Those gems will always be on your team with you. This popular study says it all: If a friendship lasts longer than seven years, psychologists say it will last a lifetime.
Maintaining a lifelong friendship isn't easy. In fact, a 2009 Dutch study found that a large majority of friendships only last about seven years. Like any relationship, friendships take work if you want them to last.
What he discovered was that only about 30 percent of our closest friends remain tried and true after seven years, and 48 percent remain in our immediate social network (meaning we actually talk to or hang out with them on occasion).
Sometimes it's possible to stay friends for life and sometimes it isn't. Over time, your interests, activities, and view of life change, and your friends' do too! To make a friendship last, you have to be ready to adapt and make an effort. Here are some ideas on how to make your friendships last a long time!
10 years is a long time. In that time, your friend will certainly know what you like. More importantly, they'll respect your hobbies and your interests. The best thing is, if they do find your hobby or interest a little unusual, then you're sure to encounter some friendly banter.
The most significant factors in ending a friendship were discovered to be, broadly, selfishness, being more likely to end friendships with those who looked after their own interest, were not supportive of them, were dishonest, and were taking without giving, among the prime reasons.
If your friend doesn't respect your feelings, it's an unhealthy relationship. Feeling anxious or negative in your friendship is a sign that it may be best to end it. Your friend is dishonest or holds back information. “Deep connections require trust,” Schmitt says.
A childhood friendship can last forever, in much the same way that any relationship can. If possible, it's a good idea to hold onto your childhood friends even into adulthood. For one thing, they know more about you than most people you will ever meet in your life.
Some reasons why friendships do not last:
They feel taken advantage of. One friend always wants to choose what they do together. The friends are not honest about how they feel about something. The friends have a fight and they do not make up.
Soon after your mid-20s, your social circle shrinks, according to a recent study by scientists from Aalto University in Finland and the University of Oxford in England.
A recent study published by the Aalto University School of Science in Finland and Oxford University found that for both men and women, the age of 25 is when most of us start losing friends. Researchers call this a "peak" point, and as we get older, our group of contacts begin to drop.
But the age gap in friendship doesn't matter – if anything, it brings an extra dimension to our friendship. While some people stick to forming friendships with those of a similar age to them, reaching out and connecting with others who aren't in the same age bracket as us can bring so much joy.
One of the biggest challenges when experiencing a friendship ending is not having that person to lean on. Focus on scheduling activities and reconnecting with loved ones (but avoid bad-mouthing your situation to mutual friends). It may also help to reach out to a therapist, who can help you sort through your emotions.
Just Walk Away, Lovingly
If and when a friendship reaches a breaking point for any reason, sometimes all you can do is walk away. As hard as this may sound, if the joy is gone, and aspects of your connection have become stressful or toxic, then the kindest thing you can both do is acknowledge that you need to move on.
Circumstances: Your lives have changed (no longer working together, going to the same school, etc.). Distance: You've grown apart in terms of interests or commitments. Lying: Your friend is deceitful. Negativity: Your friend spends more time cutting you down than building you up.
Friendship breakups can be particularly challenging because a close friend is someone who you rely on for emotional support, continuity, socialization, and processing, says Akua Boateng, PhD, a Philadelphia-based psychologist. Friends can even become family, if not something pretty darn close to it.
Betrayal. While most friendships slowly fade out of existence, occasionally they go out with a bang, and people explicitly say, “This friendship is over.” According to Bill, the most common cause of the hard break in a friendship is betrayal.
Out of dozens of connections, the number of close friendships people have, Dunbar found, is five. Similarly, a 2020 study found that having three to five close friends is enough to feel fulfilled.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147 glorifies God's grace and works for those who need comfort, including when your best friend dies.
Article content. In your 30s and 40s, a small, tight-knit group is optimal. Having three to five close friends allows for paired activities (tandem biking, charades), as well as intimate group outings (movie nights, wine tastings, group discount rates).
Studies have shown that, when people reach their 30's, they start to value quality friendships over quantity. Once their social circles dwindle, people settle for fewer friendships. As an outsider to those social circles, you may find it more intimidating to “break in” to an already established social circle.
Aside from changes in the brain that impact inhibitory control and social cognition, it could simply be that as we get older, we care less about what others think. Compared to younger adults, older adults are less self-conscious, reporting fewer experiences of emotions such as shame, guilt, and embarrassment.