Usually, the hymen looks like a doughnut and has a large hole that can fit one or two fingers. A smaller percentage of people have hymens with two holes (septate type) that look a bit like nostrils. Others have several small holes (microperforate type) or none at all (imperforate type).
It can happen, but if a woman is relaxed during intercourse and has good lubrication and she or her partner has tried to stretch the hymen with fingers, then it likely won't break. So, you can't tell if someone is a virgin if they have a hymen.
Hymens can be stretched or torn during the first experience of sexual penetration, or with tampon use or other non-sexual activity. It can also be stretched with fingers.
For people who have one, the hymen can be easy to detect. It usually lies within 0.8 inches (1–2 centimeters) of the vaginal opening, creating a partial boundary between the external and internal genital organs.
Myth #1 Virgins have extremely tight vaginas because their hymen is intact. Again, the tightness is a result of strong pelvic floor muscles and anxiety. If a woman is anxious her pelvic floor muscles will contract, and most virgins are nervous during their first time.
If your tissue is tougher than normal, your doctor or pelvic floor pt may tell you to buy vaginal dilators to help with stretching the opening. So the bottom line is that stretching your hymen happens easily and naturally, often before you even have sex, and it generally doesn't hurt.
Those whose hymen eventually breaks over time and experience bleeding may even think that the bleeding is merely from their period. Once your hymen has broken, it will not grow back.
Treatment of a hymen variant (imperforate, microperforate, septate or cribiform hymens) is a minor outpatient procedure, called a hymenectomy – during which the gynecologist removes the excess tissue, leaving a vaginal opening that is the appropriate size. Once the extra tissue is removed, it does not grow back.
Any girl who has her period can use a tampon. Tampons work just as well for girls who are virgins as they do for girls who have had sex. And even though using a tampon can occasionally cause a girl's hymen to stretch or tear, it does not cause a girl to lose her virginity. (Only having sex can do that.)
Some people experience pain or light bleeding when their hymen breaks, but most will feel nothing. Since it's a flexible piece of tissue, it stretches and thins over time from day-to-day activities or from using tampons. If you bleed when your hymen breaks, many believe it's their period or spotting.
Secondary virginity—a sexually-initiated person's deliberate decision to refrain from intimate encounters for a set period of time and to refer to that decision as a kind of virginity (rather than "mere" abstinence)—has largely eluded sociological scrutiny, despite its increasing popularity as a concept and practice ...
The hymen surrounds your vaginal opening like a ring or donut, and then, as it tears or stretches, it appears more like a crescent. If you have an annular or crescent-shaped hymen, it might look slightly different depending on the way your hymen has stretched or torn.
Quick facts about hymens
Your hymen does not completely cover your vaginal opening – a hole is normal. When you have sex, your hymen does not 'break or pop' – it stretches, which may cause a small tear. You cannot tell by looking at a hymen whether sex has occurred (consensual or non-consensual).
It's normal to have bleeding the first time you have sex, but it's also normal not to. Vaginas have a thin tissue that stretches across part of the opening. This is called a hymen. Sometimes when a person has vaginal sex for the first time, their hymen gets stretched open, which can cause pain or bleeding.
Further, your hymen can't grow back or somehow “break” twice. In the case of penetrative vaginal sex, your hymen stretches and generally tears, leading to potential bleeding for some people, Dr. White says.
You should gently wash the area with mild soap and water regularly and avoid heavy lifting to promote proper healing. The hymen will take four to six weeks to heal fully. During this time, the patient should abstain from sexual activity and the use of tampons to allow the incisions to fully heal.
For others, the first time (or even the first few times) of penetrative sex causes the hymen to tear and bleed. Some people might feel pain when the hymen tears; other people won't feel it all. This can look like spotting or bleeding. The bleeding should resolve after 24 hours and the tear will heal.
There is NO way to accurately determine whether or not someone has had sexual intercourse by examining their hymen or any other part of their genitals.
Hymen blood is the result of tearing, and it is usually very bright in colour and thin in consistency. It typically only lasts for a short while. For some women, it will be spotting, and for others there will be a very light flow for up to two days.
Regardless of your situation, there's nothing you can do to grow your hymen back. A virgin is someone who's never had sex. But people define “sex” and “losing virginity” in many different ways.
Virginity Testing: Facts versus Myths
“So, doctor, can you check my daughter's virginity? can you tell me if she is still a virgin?” No, we cannot. There is no physical sign that indicates the virginity of a woman: in fact, no physical examination will be able to evaluate the virginity of a human being, man or woman.
This has traditionally been tested by the presence of an intact hymen, which was verified by either a physical examination (usually by a physician), who would provide a certificate of virginity or by a "proof of blood", which refers to vaginal bleeding that results from the tearing of the hymen.
If indeed your hymen is still intact your gynecologist will be able to see this. A speculum could then, yes, break or stretch this membrane. When the hymen is first separated, such as with intercourse or tampon use, very mild bleeding and sometimes slight pain may occur. Be open and honest, discuss your concerns.
It's possible, but not guaranteed that he won't know.
In fact, some experts say there may be no way to tell if a woman is a virgin, even with gynecological tests.
You shouldn't react. Be appreciative that she feels comfortable enough to share that personal information with you. If you feel the need to speak on the matter, tell her that you're glad that she feels comfortable enough to share that personal information with you.