Therapists generally cannot date clients during therapy, and ethical guidelines require a significant waiting period after termination, often at least two to five years, with some codes suggesting it's "mostly inappropriate" or effectively "never" appropriate due to persistent power dynamics, though the American Psychological Association (APA) sets a minimum of two years, while the American Counseling Association (ACA) mandates five years before even considering it, requiring strong justification against exploitation.
But it does provide some rough guidelines as to how soon may be too soon to make long-term commitments and how long may be too long to stick with a relationship. Each of the three numbers—three, six, and nine—stands for the month that a different common stage of a relationship tends to end.
In particular, a new code of conduct to be implemented from today provides updated guidance that it's almost never OK for a psychologist to date someone who's been a client, even if that was years ago. Here's what the changes mean for clients and psychologists in Australia.
The 2-year rule is APA's way of acknowledging that life holds few absolutes; many continua need to be considered. Thus, the Ethics Code includes an absolute prohibition against sex with former clients for a period of two years following termination.
Today, almost every professional association for therapists has a prohibition on romantic or sexual involvement between a therapist and a client or former client. Most of these have the prohibition existing forever, although a few will have situations where this will be allowed after years have passed.
In the late 1980s and early 1990s, research began regarding the ethics of counselors entering sexual relationships with former clients, culminating with the ACA Code of Ethics prohibiting sexual relationships with former clients for a period of at least five years post-therapy (see Standard A. 5.
The "3-3-3 Rule" in relationships, popularized on TikTok, offers a timeline for new connections: 3 dates to check for basic attraction/chemistry, 3 weeks to assess consistent communication and effort, and 3 months to decide if the relationship has potential for commitment or if you should part ways amicably, preventing getting stuck in a "situationship". It's a framework for slowing down, gathering information, and avoiding rushing into serious decisions too early, though it's a guideline, not a rigid law.
For example, the American Psychological Association says a psychologist can't date a client for at least 2 years after counseling has ended. And the ACA has a 5-year waiting period after therapy has ended. Even then, a therapist must demonstrate that the relationship is not exploitative to avoid legal issues.
The 2-2-2 rule for marriage is a guideline to keep a relationship strong and connected: have a date night every two weeks, a weekend getaway every two months, and a week-long vacation every two years. This system encourages regular, intentional quality time, breaks from routine, and deeper connection by ensuring couples prioritize each other amidst daily life, work, and family, preventing stagnation and fostering fun.
Sexual Relationships
It is never okay for a therapist to engage in a sexual relationship with a client. Not only do sexual relationships impair the professional performance, but they can also have dire emotional and psychological consequences.
The 777 dating rule is a relationship strategy for intentional connection, suggesting couples schedule a date every 7 days, an overnight getaway every 7 weeks, and a longer vacation every 7 months to keep the spark alive, build memories, and prevent disconnection from daily life. It's about consistent, quality time, not necessarily grand gestures, and focuses on undivided attention to strengthen intimacy and partnership over time.
The law states a person is still considered a “patient” for one year after the therapeutic nurse-patient relationship is over. This means a nurse should not be involved in any form of sexual relations with that individual during the one year timeframe post-care.
The American Psychological Association and American Psychiatric Association don't explicitly state that friendships with former clients or patients are unethical. Even so, they're probably not a good idea for a number of reasons. (And sexual relationships between former therapists and patients are never okay.)
📖 According to relationship psychologists, just 10 minutes of fully present, uninterrupted conversation a day can significantly improve emotional intimacy between partners, friends — even colleagues. It's called the 10-Minute Talk Rule.
Let's say you decide you're going to date 10 different people over the next few months. The 37% rule says you should have fun on the first three, but not go out with them a second time. Tell yourself: I can do better. According to the 37% rule, the next best date you have is the keeper.
While many factors contribute, many experts point to poor communication (especially criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) and a breakdown in emotional connection/trust, often stemming from dishonesty or disrespect, as the #1 things that destroy marriages, eroding intimacy and making partners feel unheard and unloved over time. Infidelity, financial stress, and shifting priorities (like putting family/in-laws above spouse) are also major contributors that feed these core issues.
survived the dreaded two-year mark (i.e. the most common time period when couples break up), then you're destined to be together forever… right? Unfortunately, the two-year mark isn't the only relationship test to pass, nor do you get to relax before the seven-year itch.
The 2-2-2 rule is a relationship strategy designed to help couples maintain closeness by creating regular moments of connection. The concept is simple: every two weeks, go on a date; every two months, plan a weekend getaway; and every two years, go on a longer trip together.
But no matter how strong the attraction, psychologists, therapists, and other registered mental health professionals are expected to avoid engaging in sexual relationships with their patients to avoid taking advantage of their clients. Doing so can cause severe damage to the mental health of the patient.
Any request for personal favors, suggestive remarks, inappropriate physical contact, or attempts to socialize outside of the professional context are not just therapist red flags—they are definitive breaches of ethics and trust. This relationship is singular, devoted solely to your mental health.
Our fears may get triggered when clients leave under any circumstance, but all the more so when they ditch us without so much as a “see ya.” Even planned and successful terminations can leave a therapist with a host of feelings, from loss to fear to doubt—especially if the therapist is not convinced it's best to ...
Understand that there's no set number of dates before a relationship becomes official; it's unique to each couple. Look for signs like meaningful communication and the desire to spend your time exclusively with each other.
The 7-7-7 rule is a structured method for couples to regularly reconnect, involving a date night every 7 days, a weekend getaway every 7 weeks, and a kid-free vacation every 7 months.
The 3-squeeze rule is a trend that's currently going viral on TikTok. It's defined by kissing your partner after they've squeezed your hand 3 times. In this case, the 3 squeezes aren't just a comforting way of saying, “I love you,” but also a tender request for a kiss in romantic relationships.