Be honest — but not brutal. Then say why you want to move on. "Honesty" doesn't mean "harsh." Don't pick apart the other person's qualities as a way to explain what's not working. Think of ways to be kind and gentle while still being honest.
Tell the truth — but don't be cruel
“The people that I see who have the hardest time after a breakup, it's because they don't understand,” Sussman says. Ideally, your reason shouldn't shock the other person, because you've discussed it in the past and tried to work through it, Sussman adds.
Be direct. Don't beat around the bush or otherwise hint at the fact that you want to breakup without actually saying it. A less direct approach may seem kinder in the moment—but trust, it's not. “The best thing to do is to just say the truth, which is we're not a good fit for each other,” says Hendrix.
Say it in person.
You've shared a lot with each other. Respect that (and show your good qualities) by breaking up in person. If you live far away, try to video chat or at least make a phone call. Breaking up through texting or Facebook may seem easy.
If you are trying to determine when not to break up, a couple of the most obvious times are when you love your mate and when you are unable to imagine your life without them. Even if your relationship isn't perfect, this doesn't mean that you aren't compatible, and you won't be happy with each other.
"When it comes to two healthy people whose relationship has simply run its course, initiating a breakup through a text is a sign of disrespect both to your partner and the relationship itself," Leigh Trescott says. So her advice for crafting a breakup text in those situations is simple: don't.
While it is established that about half of all marriages end in divorce, it is commonly assumed that the breakups are initiated by both genders equally. In fact, it is surprising to most people that women are actually more likely to end their marriages than men.
Ghosting and orbiting are among the "worst" ways to break up with someone. Breaking up with a positive tone is not always helpful. Mutual breakups, when possible, support post-breakup recovery.
Don't ghost — drop hints.
Instead of ghosting them, try dropping hints. If they invite you to a party, you can say, "Thanks, but I'm going with my friends. I'll see you there." Or the next time they chat you up in the halls, you can refer to them as a "friend" to let them know your true feelings.
We are creatures of attachment, and loss looms large for us. When we break up, it's not unusual to experience a similar kind of rumination, in particular when we aren't feeling complete and there's more work yet to be done. It's normal, in other words, to regret breaking up—even if you're the one who did the dumping.
If you find that telling your partner about what you've done will only cause them more harm than good, then this might not be the best way to go. Create boundaries for yourself: Stop speaking to the person or people you cheated with. Create limits to prevent yourself from making the mistakes you've made in the past.
It's easy to internalize that you are The Worst Bad Guy of All Time for breaking someone's heart, for not wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone. But breaking up with someone is not a crime. It's not inherently cruel. It's just another part of relationships.
The First Love Breakup
The First Love breakup is one of the toughest to overcome. Some say you never get over it. This breakup teaches us that the world is a bigger place than we thought. There are more people to meet, there are bills to pay, there are places to go.
The death of a future you imagined for yourself with your ex, one that you probably imagined together, can be one of the most difficult things to come to terms with after a break-up. It makes your present that much harder to get through (see above). It's OK to mourn and grieve the loss of that future.
According to a new research through a study by Cornell University, published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, the most hurtful break up is actually experienced when you're dumped by someone, also known as 'comparative rejection'.
Some data (such as from self-reported surveys) do suggest that men recover from breakups faster than women, according to Paul Hokemeyer, PhD, a marriage and family therapist and author of the book Fragile Power: Why Having Everything Is Never Enough.
Several studies—both large and small—suggest they have a tougher time than women do when a romantic relationship ends. For example, a team of researchers at the University of British Columbia conducted a study examining the ways in which men seek, or fail to seek, mental health help after a relationship ends.
If you're wondering, “do guys hurt after a breakup?” The answer is yes. But if you're waiting for him to approach you about it to talk, you're waiting on a lost cause.
Long-term relationships tend to last anywhere from two to three years, with couples breaking up around this time. Not surprisingly, this is when many couples experience the oxytocin dip and feel less infatuated with each other.
Letting enough time go by that your ex gets over you does exist. This is why we do not want you to sit on your butt and wait for them to text you even after a no contact rule. We encourage you to take control and text them first after the no contact rule.