Be direct. Avoid beating around the bush or being passive-aggressive. Face them square on, make eye contact, and cut straight to chase about what it is they did that upset you. They can't learn from their mistake if they don't know what they did.
Try kindness
Take a deep breath and be calm instead of snapping back. Later on, try responding with an act of kindness. Doing so could break the cycle of rudeness by allowing the other person to match your behavior. If this tactic doesn't work, you can still be proud you didn't succumb to negativity.
Calmly explain what the problem is and how their behavior is affecting you. Don't be afraid to firmly but politely ask them to explain their behavior. Use I-focused language so that the other person does not feel accused. For example, “I feel very disrespected when you speak to me in that tone of voice.”
May 31, 2017 - Never tolerate disrespect. The more chances you give someone the less respect they'll start to have for you. They'll begin to ignore the standards that you've set because they'll know another chance will always be given. They're not afraid to lose you because they know no matter what you won't walk away.
In one word it is, surprisingly, arrogance. Assuming the person in front of you does not have as much to contribute to the world and the present conversation due to your own prejudice. Being aware of, yet completely indifferent to someone else is the highest (or lowest, as it were) form of disrespect.
Cultural, generational, and gender biases, and current events influencing mood, attitude, and actions, also contribute to disrespectful behavior. Practitioner impairment, including substance abuse, mental illness, or personality disorder, is often at the root of highly disruptive behavior.
There can be many root causes for rudeness, such as insecurity or fear. People are often rude after being on the receiving end of rudeness. Researchers have found that “just like the common cold, common negative behaviors can spread easily and have significant consequences.” In other words… Rude is contagious!
If the argument is about something that is fact-based, always check your facts first. If you can, bring evidence to the conversation to back up your side. However, when researching, make sure to stick to unbiased sources, instead of ones that just tell you what you want to hear.
Listen to the other point of view.
Instead, focus on what's being said. When it's your turn to talk, repeat any key points the other person made to show you listened and heard what was said. Then calmly present your case and why you disagree.
When we take things personally, we feel offended and disrespected. Our reaction is either to defend ourself by exerting dominance or submitting passively. Either way we are provoked by someones criticism and view it as literal, personal and serious. We can make something big out of some behavior that is so little.
1. contempt, disregard, irreverence.
Abuse means treating someone with violence, disrespect, cruelty, harm, or force. When someone treats their partner in any of these ways, it's called an abusive relationship. Abuse in a relationship can be physical, sexual, or emotional. Or it could be all of these.
derisive, gibelike, jeering, mocking, taunting. abusing vocally; expressing contempt or ridicule. impious, undutiful. lacking due respect or dutifulness. flip, impudent, insolent, snotty-nosed.
Laughing at you, telling you that he doesn't care what you think, or implying that your feelings are unimportant are all abusive behaviors. Suggesting that your thoughts are wrong—based on fuzzy thinking—or that you're “too sensitive” or “too emotional”…. are all forms of emotional manipulation.
Insist On Respect.
Clearly state, “You will NOT say disrespectful things like that around me.” When you say this, you are making it clear that you will not tolerate disrespectful remarks. The challenge here is that saying this could generate a “what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it?” response.
The first step in creating change is to recognize that you deserve to be treated with respect--and to discover why you've allowed someone to mistreat you. Then, you can begin to set healthy boundaries and limit the toll they take on your life.
Common reasons people are mean include they have a need to gain power, they feel threatened, or they struggle to regulate their emotions.