If you're the target of jealousy, you may feel like someone (usually a partner or friend) is trying to control your life. They might do things such as check up on you, try to tell you what to do (or not do) and how to act, or limit your contact with friends and coworkers.
You aren't included in their social lives
One of the most obvious signs someone doesn't want to be your friend is when they leave you out of their plans to hang out or attend an event, even when your other friends may have been invited.
If you don't feel like a priority in your friend's life, or you're the only one making an effort to maintain the connection, it might be time to move on – or at least put the ball in their court.
Certainly, you can be sensitive to them, care about them and be supportive. But if a friend is bringing you down because they are jealous of you; for your looks, money, success, smarts, career, then this constitutes a toxic friend who lacks trust, support, affection and respect – and it may be time to break up.
They make you feel bad about yourself
But it can still get you down. A jealous friend might also insist you were just lucky. They may make you feel as if you aren't worthy of your successes or that you just happened to be in the right place at the right time. You may be told to “enjoy your luck while you can.”
Some of the various signs of jealousy might be accusations, suspicions, questioning your behavior or day-to-day activities, having negativity towards partner's relationships, comparing themselves to others, and more.
Crossed arms often signal jealousy or insecurity. "Someone may cross their arms while talking, or if they're seated, they might cross their legs and lock them together tightly," says Megan Harrison, licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Couples Candy.
Jealous friends are often driven by insecurity, fear, animosity, or anger. Also, they are triggered by low self-esteem and a lack of confidence. Society often compares friends based on their careers, which may inculcate this feeling of jealousy among the less successful.
People envy you because you're living the dream. They resent you for your opportunities and accomplishments and feel like they can't compete with you. They might also feel like they don't have what it takes to be as successful as you. Such people love to stick their nose in everything you do and try to learn from you.
When a friend is overly competitive, it often comes from a place of fear or insecurity. That's why it can help to validate or reinforce a friend's strengths (e.g., “You are right! You are really great at that.”) if you notice that they are starting to be competitive.
Talk about the fun times or the things you've learned from them. Then, explain why you've come to the difficult decision to end the friendship. Lombardo suggests using “I” statements to take ownership of how you feel because “you” statements can lead the other person to become defensive.
They Tease or Insult You Regularly
The next time your friend insults you, let them know it hurts your feelings. A genuine friend will apologize and stop the behavior. A toxic friend will likely accuse you of being sensitive, insist you're overreacting, or keep emphasizing that it's just a joke.
Negative behaviour, such as constant criticism, lack of support, manipulation, controlling behaviour, unhealthy competition, and gossiping and betrayal, are all indicators of a toxic friendship. The negative effects of toxic friendships can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and stress.
Causes of Jealousy
Many situations can make you feel jealous. Some common ones include: A partner spending significant time engaging with someone who feels threatening to the relationship. A new baby joins the family or a parent puts their attention on a sibling instead of you.
You have little or nothing to talk about
Sometimes, friends drift apart, whether you have less in common or life circumstances have changed. If you have little or nothing to talk about anymore, it may be a sign your friendship as you knew it has come to an end.
Certain signs that someone may not value you or your relationship are easy to spot. A common one is not asking you about your feelings, life, or what's important to you. This can look different depending on the relationship. They may not check in to hear your ideas on certain projects at work, for example.
Signs that a friendship should end include no longer having much in common or feeling drained by seeing them. Other signs may include competitiveness, harsh judgment, and a lack of respect for boundaries.