Yep, it's totally possible for guys to become attached to their FWB. Human beings are designed to feel emotionally close to people who they're physically intimate with. There is nothing unique about men that makes them incapable of becoming emotionally invested in their FWB partner.
I spoke with Jess O'Reilly, sex expert and host of the Sex With Dr Jess Podcast, and she says, "Spending time together can inevitably lead to feelings of attachment and since you're also engaging in physically intimate activities, it's normal to feel a human connection." So if you have feelings for your FWB, ...
Don't Cuddle
Cuddling encourages intimacy, which is a no-no with your FWB. You want to keep things simple, and spooning can complicate them.
Modern stories give the impression that people simply hookup, have sex for awhile, and then just "slide" into a long-term relationship. Research results contrast the modern fairytale, however, showing only 15% of friends-with-benefits lead to a committed long-term relationship.
Exactly how often to talk to a friend with benefits depends on the needs of the parties involved. Some may talk every day, but others might only talk when hooking up. As a general rule, maintain emotional distance from your friend with benefits.
A good rule of thumb is five weeks—just long enough to really master one another's G-spots but not so long you start to internalize their roommate's work schedule.
In friends with benefits scenarios, you're just friends — friends who hang out and sometimes have sex/be intimate with each other. People who are friends with benefits may be free to date other people. The physical stuff they do is usually “no strings attached”— they're not necessarily committed to each other.
The general idea is that you are friends (or at least friendly) with the other person and have a sexual chemistry, but are not interested in pursuing a more serious, romantic, relationship. Successful FWB relationships are strictly sexual and avoid all of the romantic and physical intimacy of a true relationship.
In a true FWB situation, there are no feelings attached to the relationship, so you're both free to flirt or date whoever. If you notice that your FWB seems to get upset when you flirt with others or talk about other people, there's a good chance that they're developing feelings for you.
Sweet “Good morning,” “Goodnight,” “Hope you have a good day” texts aren't really a part of the deal. You can send them if you like, but don't expect it to be reciprocated. This isn't automatically off the table, it's just a matter of how it happens. Cuddle time after sex?
You don't feel comfortable
The most important reason to quit your entire friends with benefit relationship is if you feel uncomfortable and insecure. Hooking up with a friend should be freeing and empowering, not filled with anxiety. If hooking up at random isn't for you, then that's totally fine!
According to past research led by Owen, 25 to 40 percent of young adults who have FWB hope the relationship grows into something more; approximately 20 percent actually do, and, generally speaking, most people remain friends after they stop hooking up.
Oxytocin is released into the body during intercourse, a hormone which is linked to "positive social functioning and is associated with bonding, trust, and loyalty." The intimacy of an experience is what really causes us to feel attached to someone.
Reminder: Sex, including casual sex, causes the brain to release oxytocin, which makes you feel more emotionally tied to the other person(s). Basically, you're biologically wired to attach to any sexual partners, so it's not only common, it's natural.