It's okay to hurt and it's okay to tell someone they hurt you. You want to honor your feelings knowing it's natural and normal to feel hurt and angry too! Remember to respect yourself!
Briefly describe what happened that felt hurtful or disrespectful. Say, “When I was talking, you (said or did this).” Don't go into a long story about what occurred or try to soften the blow by saying you know they didn't mean to be offensive. One sentence that describes your experience of their behavior is enough.
It's easy to get emotional when you're trying to make your girlfriend realize she's wrong, but don't let your emotions get in the way of the conversation. Stay calm, cool, and collected, and avoid yelling or getting defensive. Remember, you're trying to resolve a conflict, not create a new one.
The best way to make her miss you is to give her the time of her life. Take her to amazing dates, cook her delicious meals or even make her go crazy with your amazing sex skills. Sing to her or take her somewhere special that she didn't expect at all.
Avoid blaming the person for how you feel. Instead, express what you're feeling by using “I” instead of "you." Explain the issue in an objective way. This will be less likely to put the person on the defensive. For example, you might say, “I felt hurt that I didn't get a call to tell me you couldn't make it yesterday.”
If someone treats you poorly and you just let it go, you've taught them that it's okay to treat you this way. But make no mistake: it is okay to feel hurt and it is okay to tell someone they hurt you. At Stenzel Clinical, we've seen what happens when pain is bottled up.
While it may be tempting to lash out in return, sometimes the best thing you can do is put on a calm face and ignore the hurtful behavior. After the hurtful event, give yourself some time to feel upset.
In fact, forgiving and letting go may be one of the most important ways to keep your relationship going strong. While some transgressions are so harmful that a relationship can't survive, forgiveness can still play a role in helping you move past the hurt.
Let her be your best friend first, then ease into things. A girl needs to know that she can trust you, and that you're not going to break her heart because you really do care about her. Be sincere. Compliments, flirting, teasing, carefulness -- none of it matters unless you truly do care.
Saying, "When I said [the hurtful thing], I wasn't thinking. I realize I hurt your feelings, and I'm sorry," acknowledges that you know what it was you said that hurt the other person, and you take responsibility for it. Don't make assumptions and don't try to shift the blame.
To avoid blame, use “I feel…” statements (e.g., “I feel sad” or “I feel lonely”) to own your feelings. Stating our emotions directly in this way, without justification about why we feel that way, can make us feel vulnerable.
“Try to let go of negative feelings and focus on the positive aspects of your friendship.” “You can also forgive and then steer clear of them in the future if you feel it's in your best interest,” says Hong.
Words are powerful weapons and can do a lot of damage. “ You're *#@! % stupid. ” “ I wish you were never born. ” “ No one is ever going to love you, you're so *#@! % fat and ugly. ” “ You never get anything right. ” “ You're worthless. ” These are mean and degrading things to say to someone.
Men often act guardedly when they have been hurt. Many don't run to their families or friends and pour out their guts. Some act stoically [1]. Instead of saying something, they withdraw and act out in other strange ways.
