You could probably list some obvious boundary violations, such as nonconsensual touch, name-calling, unsolicited advice, taking what's not given, and sharing confidential information without permission.
You may have poor boundaries if you often: Say yes out of a desire to please, even when you'd prefer to say no. Feel guilty when you set aside time for self-care. Fail to speak up for yourself when people treat you badly or make you uncomfortable.
How do you tell someone they are overstepping your boundaries?
Talk About Overstepping Boundaries
Remember to be polite, but stern, and use specific examples in your conversation so it's clear to the coworker what you're talking about. If possible, have this conversation while they are actually in the process of overstepping the boundaries.
A few examples of a person exhibiting healthy boundaries include: Being able to say, "no," and accept when someone else says, "no" Being able to clearly communicate both wants and needs. Honoring and respecting their own needs and the needs of others.
When you establish a new boundary with someone, the most common form of resistance is anger. People who get angry at others for setting boundaries have a character problem. Self-centered, they think the world exists for them and their comfort. They see others as extensions of themselves.
Unfortunately, people who are manipulative, narcissistic, and have a poor sense of self tend to repeatedly violate personal boundaries. One of the biggest challenges that people have with boundaries is figuring out what to do when someone repeatedly violates them.
One simple tactic you can use is to simply say, “I think you are deflecting things away from the issue I'm bringing up right now. I feel strongly that there is something here that we need to look at and I'm not willing to just sweep it under the carpet or take the blame.”
These boundaries typically fall into a few specific categories: emotional (protecting our own emotional well-being) physical (protecting our physical space) sexual (protecting our needs and safety sexually)
People who push boundaries do it for numerous reasons. Some have low self-esteem or are self-serving. Some were raised that way, or are struggling to connect in a way they previously failed to. But for many, it's a simple lack of awareness, an inability to see what boundary they are pushing or how it is affecting you.
Boundaries can be emotional, physical or even digital. Some examples of personal boundaries might be: I'm cool with following each other on social media, but not with sharing passwords. I'm comfortable kissing and holding hands, but not in public.
Boundary crossing often involved clinically effective interventions, such as self-disclosure, home visit, non-sexual touch, gifts or bartering. Dual relationships or Multiple Relationships in psychotherapy refers to any situation where multiple roles exist between a therapist and a client.
