How to deal with someone who tries to embarrass you in front of others
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What is the root cause of humiliation?
Sometimes shame is instilled in early childhood by the harsh words or actions of parents or other authority figures, or from bullying by peers. Shame can stem from a person's own poor choices or harmful behavior. Other times unfortunate circumstances—such as poverty or chronic physical illness—plant seeds of shame.
Sadists and psychopaths. Someone who gets pleasure from hurting or humiliating others is a sadist. Sadists feel other people's pain more than is normal.
It is through fantasy that the narcissist seeks to redeem his pride and dignity and to re-establish his damaged sense of uniqueness and grandiosity. Paradoxically, the narcissist does not mind being humiliated if this were to make him more unique or to draw more attention to his person.
A narcissist may often humiliate you in public just to protect their false image and as a show of their 'innocence' and superiority. It's also a form of supply and intimidation when they see you feeling embarrassed especially in front of others.
I felt a deep humiliation and wanted the ground to swallow me up. He became homeless and suffered embarrassment and humiliation. She felt terrible shame and humiliation. They recalled the humiliations they suffered at the enemy's hands.
The powerlessness of those humiliated can create a kind of learned helplessness that turns to anger as if there is nowhere to turn. The person may want to run, feel anxiety, a swelling anger that depletes energy, and that can lead, in the long-run, to post-traumatic stress.
Telling embarrassing or revealing stories in an attempt to manipulate the child's attitude or behavior.
Taking what should be a private conversation about behavior and consequences and making it public by sharing it with friends, family, or the world at large (via social media)
Why Do People Resort to Shaming? Often we are trying to feel better about ourselves, more in control of our situation, and safer in our environment. Also, shaming behavior is usually fueled by anger. This makes sense because we are all impacted by the reckless behavior of others.
Avoid- This means that we run away from the person who shamed us, or stay away from the setting in which we felt shamed. Deny Wrong Doing-This means that we deny feeling ashamed, or try to act like the moment of shame didn't bother us.
The origins of shame can almost always be tied back to past experiences of feeling judged, criticized, or rejected by someone else. People often respond to shame by pushing away others, withdrawing, and working to preserve their reputation by hiding the aspects of themselves they feel will lead to rejection.
Slumped shoulders, lowering our head, looking down, avoiding eye contact, hesitant speech patterns – these are clues that we feel unworthy and want to avoid letting anyone else see into us.
Being laughed at, mocked, teased, ridiculed, given a dirty look, spit on, or made to look stupid or foolish. Being the victim of a practical joke, prank, or confidence scheme. False accusation or insinuation, Public shame, disrespect, or being dis'ed, downgraded, defeated, or slighted.
We feel shame when we violate the social norms we believe in. At such moments we feel humiliated, exposed and small and are unable to look another person straight in the eye. We want to sink into the ground and disappear. Shame makes us direct our focus inward and view our entire self in a negative light.
