To open up, you're going to have to recognize and accept that your feelings are just as important as the feelings and needs of others. Writing is a useful tool for the INFJ wishing to hone their self-expression. Grab a journal or open up a Word document and let the feelings flow.
INFJs are so concerned about the feelings of others that we often hold ourselves back. We can be reluctant to open up or make the first move in a relationship because we're not sure if the other person really wants to listen to us or really cares about the issues and ideas that are so precious to us.
INFJs enjoy deep conversations with intellectually curious individuals. They enjoy talking about philosophy, psychology, religion, and a lot of the “taboo” subjects that many other people avoid. They enjoy asking questions, looking for answers and understanding how other people see the world.
Kindness. As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same. Most INFJs also strive to make a positive impact on the world.
INFJs struggle to open up.
Even if you've been with an INFJ for a while, don't be surprised if they still struggle to open up to you. Although their personality allows them to be engaging, they tend to hold their thoughts and feelings close to the chest.
They also have an incredible ability to sense their partner's needs and desires, and respond to them with uncanny accuracy. In addition, whether it's through a date, present, or praise, INFJs will look for creative methods to express their love for you. They will make an effort to make you feel loved and acknowledged.
INFJs are likely to thrive in relationships where their partner is putting in an equal amount of effort. They tend to look for partners who are motivated, trustworthy, and encouraging. They want to feel fully loved and accepted as they are in a relationship and are unlikely to give up on their partner.
INFJs want a high degree of intimacy and emotional engagement, and are happiest when they feel they are sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings with their mates.
The famous INFJ door slam
But when you've pushed them too far, taking advantage of their giving nature once too often or badgering them into doing things they don't want to do, they will resort to the INFJ door slam. The INFJ door slam is when an INFJ cuts you out of their life permanently.
INFJs often lock out their emotions when they're upset. These often try to process their thoughts before reacting, which is why they might keep quiet or shut people out when aggrieved. The last thing they'd want to do is to react without consideration.
According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language. This is followed by Words of Affirmation (25.54%), Physical Touch (21.83%), Acts of Service (14.04%), and Gifts (2.92%).
INFJs detest attention-seeking behaviors and melodrama. Their strong intuition combined with their awareness of emotions makes it easy for them to spot when someone is being fake or is always seeking the spotlight. Emotionally manipulative movies and TV shows also get on their nerves.
Because of our passionate need for meaningful connection, we INFJs can get jealous easily when we see other people connecting and having fun. We might compare ourselves to them, or worse yet, when someone close to us has friends of their own, we might pull away, feeling unwanted and pathetic.
ENFP. If you have an ENFP as a friend, you'll know how fun and inclusive these types can be. ENFPs may be an INFJ's best match due to the similarities and complementary traits these types share.
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFJ's natural partner is the ENTP, or the ENFP. INFJ's dominant function of Introverted Intuition is best matched with a personality type that is dominated by Extraverted Intuition.
INFJs have unique needs and expectations when it comes to romantic relationships and you may struggle to find someone who matches you intellectually and emotionally.
Reading too much into a situation
INFJs can appear very awkward when their intuition kicks in and they start reading into a situation. For instance, if someone is being sweeter to the boss than usual, you may infer that they are doing it to get ahead at work.
They're tough to get to know
There's being reserved and then there's INFJ levels of secrecy. It's no surprise that as Introverts—who recharge by spending time alone—INFJs can be tough to get to know. In fact, INFJ personalities are talkative and bubbly, but only around people they trust and know well.
INFJs are the most extroverted of the introverts, but we tend to lack confidence. INFJs tend to flirt with prolonged, intense eye contact. We'll occasionally say hi or wave, but nothing else. If we end up getting closer, we'll open up little by little.